Uncut Chant 4

Omg I can't stay away from this phone. It's like my everything. My little baby. I can access everything on this phone and this... it drives me crazy. Cause I'm constantly checking on my phone or using my phone in some capacity.   That shit is crazy. Its like some false sense of security, every few seconds.. On the phone on the phone on the phone.

It could be for anything...
Listening to music
Talking on the phone
Checking emails
Sending emails
Posting on fb
Writing in my notepAd
Etc etc etc

Its like geez Jennifer ok put the phone down. I find something to do with it like every second. It's like I think something or want to know something and voila... Presto!! I pick up my phone to get everything I think I need.  Fast too... In like seconds. Bam... Info is there.
But that's why it drives me crazy cause it's so addicting. And many people know what I mean (deny if u like lol) and i know there are the rare few who r not glued to their phone. (notice many that are have the iPhones, bbm, android & a whole list of those kind of phones) and these phones have people using them all the time.  (and there are so many apps that are Wonderful whats not to love?) Lol
And then it becomes like this freaking nervous ball of energy that is frantic and it consumes my very being and causes me to  find myself with my phone in my hand....
Most of the time!

And many times I am doing absolutely nothing with it but flicking the screen back and forth aimlessly. With no direction or purpose as to why i treasure this "materiAl substance" like if it were my child. Lol.

That must mean That I am bored. But wait I'm constantly doing stuff. And while I am  doing my "stuff" my phone is being  used in some capacity &  always within reach.  That is sheer madness. Ridiculous.  I give the phone a lot to Olivia cause i cant i cant deal with it lol   But as soon as its back in my hands I can't stop..
Once again 

Addiction.

It takes constant restraint to just leave the phone alone. I've been practicing but u know i still have more  work to do.  but I am getting better lol

We can all relate somehow. It doesn't just have to be a phone. It could be anything u do that turns into OCD. Be wary! Lol  

Believe it or not some people get mad at me because I do this  Ok not  some but 1 and  They take it as I am Not paying attention or that I'm being rude.  But I'm Not.  
Ok yes sometimes I may not be paying attention but those times are when i am interrupted from whatever I was doing or thinking and at times it's hard for me to snap out of it and fully pay attention especially if i was engrossed in what i was originally doing before the intrusion. And its nothing personal but if u know me well then u know I'm like a little OCD when it comes to completions. I want whatever I was doing done or whatever I was thinking... Thought!
And when I'm off in my own little world. Sometimes it's just best to wait it out for a moment till I get back cause then and only then will u have my undivided attention.  So I just need those few moments to finish up.
But I still hear u! I  will just process what I am hearing from u in a few moments once I'm finished with what I was doing.

Now I sound mean. I don't do this all the time. I know when not to. Lol.

I am still not tired. Most of the time i have so much excess energy that I don't get tired or go to sleep as "regular" ppl do. But that does not mean  I do not  sleep... It just means i sleep when im tired or when i get the chance to sleep  For me It doesn't matter the time. I love sleeping at any hour. Why does it only have to be at night?
As long as everything gets done that needs to be done I will always find my time for sleep and when that time comes  no one bother me lol (seriously cause then I could become quite vicious and rip ur head off) lol

Ok so it's established  I don't have  "conventional" sleeping patterns  but so what?
But I find talking to a variety of people and processing all of my life studies  I have found many who are just  like me. People  who are night owls, vampires and children of the night (whatever u want to call it). Many of them are family too.... Its in the genes i guess and i love it cause I know I am not alone.

Vampires

Look at that... a frog just hopped by me.
Almost scared the shit out of me (good thing im not a screamer)

right now I'm sitting in front of my house
(in the dark)
at night
(neighbors sleeping)
crickets chirping
and the sound of silence is in the air. (did u know that silence has a sound... Seriously think about it the next time ur alone and it's quiet lol)
but anyway so  please keep in mind that where I live  raccoons roam freely in this neck of the woods.
 and Here i am on my "phone" but of course... smoking my cigarette and out of no where out hops this frog chanting ribbit ribbit...  violating my extremely sacred space... (my alone time).

And no the frog didn't say ribbit ribbit.

It doesn't mean that's not what I heard!

Well Who wouldn't naturally Get frazzled at least for a moment especially thinking ur alone? I did! Lol

But  once I realized what it was I was like "awww look at the pretty froggy"  lol I'm crazy 

What i want to know is Where the hell are these frogs coming from? I do not live near any pond!  At least I don't think I do!
Unless... They don't need a pond.....
I wonder...
Wait...
Do they need a pond?
Idk but can u see how I am???
Now because of this tiny little wonderment  I need to  find out this answer lol!
If I do not it will bother me to death... Tomorrow 1 of the things I will do is find out all about these dam frogs. Great!!! Lmao

Unless people are buying them as pets and then setting them free. Which if that is the case then that's cruel and super cruel!  Setting them loose in a world that is not there natural habitat. They prob get eaten by the raccoons and the street cats. So sad 

That's it no more assuming or jumping to conclusions I will find out later... Or who knows once I'm done writing in my notebook (on my phone)

Now I am tired...  of writing or typing or whatever its called that i am doing while using this device from my phone.  Is it called notepadding with what I am  doing  right now? Lol

Might check that out too!!!!

And now for even greater news... I am putting  this phone down... I will not use my phone for the remainder of this duration!!!


Lies...


Gn ttyl 

Uncut chant 3 (I think) lol

I love words. Words make up any language spoken and in them a multitude of meanings. Words are indeed powerful and they evoke in us strong feelings. Emotions that no words could truly begin to express. BeCause "feeling" is the more powerful element. No amount of words could begin to convey the intensity of a certain emotion. A person may describe the action and even the feeling with words but if the persons words are not chosen "wisely" those exact words could be misinterpreted for something else and "boom" there goes an opposing affect. And sometimes the meaning behind which the words are spoken are not fully understood or taken in and creates something else I wish not to get into lol.
 That's why I love words because "words" execute such authority when spoken.  Explains why i love when words are sung... It could become euphoric if you find the right music that feeds your soul.  I am always listening for the things that nourish my soul. Loving words that move me.

Is that weird that I love words?  I am moved by genuine emotion too I am a sensitive creature  and if someones words evoke a powerful sense of emotion in me I get tingly all over.Lol

Utter madness....


Music soothes me. I have been surprised in my time to have met people who do not enjoy music and I am still baffled by the concept. Idk how that's possible. But I'm always preaching anything is possible. So I guess this fits that category too. But for me when I get into my iPod zone that's it I am a goner. I create my playlists and they are all created based off of different moods that I have. Believe it or not I have a playlist for when I am happy, sad, angry, etc. There's a playlist for when I feel like dancing too. And there r different genres for too. There are the contemporary dances, hiphop (mixed with contemporary), 80's dance, Spanish lol everything i like arranged for when I need it. Is that OCD? I just hate having to go thru all the songs on shuffle and clicking skip skip skip constantly because that irks me and alters my mood and who knows what happens after that lol

Craziness...

I love that once words are delivered... They release an Affect! That's why I love this part of the blog uncut chant because it's my unedited version of talking my b.s. And it's honest. And I actually do not delete. If I thought it and wrote it so then it's there...

Exposed in a way...
Dangerous in many other ways... Because sometimes I think some wild far out shit and I am way too concealed to do something like that so on days like those  I intentionally stay away completely from any form of writing devices except paper and pen (they are always my friends)  Lol. The 1 thing I do is the spell check (sometimes I forget)but most of the time I do not cause u be surprised how many times you could forget how to spell a word and it's not that ur stupid there are just so many freakin words. Even when I actually write on paper I have a dictionary handy.  Or when u spell a word right and it just looks wrong I impulsively have to check. If not and i dont check That shit would bother me. So I sometimes take longer then necessary. Lol. And u know what 2 words annoy the shit out of me "then" and "than" so I unfortunately can't get it so I am always reciting the rule in my head. Or "effect" and "affect" lol.

Silly...

Well if u read this much already I sincerely thank u and hoped u enjoyed! And thanks for showing some love. Positive thoughts reap positive rewards so always stay positive!!!! Don't forget to count ur blessings cause there r plenty to be found 

Well peace out and ttyl
Coming to u straight from my iPhone uncut chant (I think it's 3 now) lol


Sent from my iPhone

Ur trying to make me dizzy with ur spell
Selling me the dream but I can tell
Been down this road many time b4
And now ur kind returns asking me for some more
U come around I'm spellbound but I know ur full of smoke
It doesn't matter how I feel
Cause I know where this will go

Open doors closed doors
Tears and fears
Bloodshed and heartache
The pain...
The wasted years....

Do u know? 
Nothing has changed
I'm still dizzy
Dizzy 4 u 
Don't want to lose myself this way
Ur building a smoke screen and it's got to stop
don't want to drown
Don't want to drown 
Ur love is not 

Ur eyes sell me lies
U tell me all the things I long to hear
But I know better nothing has changed
The way I feel about u is only real
Everything else foggy but clear 
And I won't lose myself again at the end of the day
So what is best for u to walk away
Cause this reality I'm in is not ur game
I'm unwilling to live in what u got

Turn around and just stop
Stop trying to sell me what ur not 
A waste of breath a waste a time 
Oh I can't take 
I know I will lose myself if I allow u to stay
So I'm telling u I want u to go never mind all the pain 
Just go away! 
I don't want to live my life this way 
Cause All i know is ur not what I want 


Open doors closed doors
Tears and fears
Bloodshed and heartache
The pain...
The wasted years....

Do u know? 
Nothing has changed
I'm still dizzy
Dizzy 4 u
Don't want to lose myself this way
Ur building a smoke screen and it's got to stop
don't want to drown
Don't want to drown 
Ur Love is not 

I never knew how much hidden disgust 
Still seeps within me when I see ur face
Ur smile irritates the shit out of me 
The scent of u repulses me 
I have to force myself to look away 
Because the sight of u sickens me 
In the very bottom pit of my stomach 
The stench of u makes me vomit 
 that creepy crawling darkness 
The one that penetrates deep within my veins
Wants to know and wants to see
Everything that there is to know about u because I feel I have that right! 
Everything so bright...
 I at one time blamed u for taking away my light
She shined so bright! 
And now here u are 
Smug, happy and ever so vibrant 
And I thought that I would be ok 
I felt that enough years had past that I am now ready and prepared to see ur fucking face again and u know what who would of known... I still can't! I cant stand the site of it... Ur face! 
Then I find myself stuck and torn cause haven't I grown? 
Didn't I move on past all this foolishness? 
Could of fooled myself...
For the site of u still repulses me...
I had to shut u off...
Erase u... Delete u from existence...
I sent u to oblivion...
And now I send you again...
Torpedoing u out of this galaxy
Out of sight out of mind 
Goodbye for u will never cross my mind never again...

My world (short bio written for school)

Embracing life with arms wide open. My  viewing of the world is like that of a child, pure innocent and sweet till tainted.  Breathing in the air and taking it all in and smiling at all the marvels of this world. Forever A child of God and grateful for each blessing bestowed unto me. 

Living each day one step at a time. Evolving physically, mentally, spiritually, humanly with each passing day. I wake up refreshed and reborn every morning. 

The way I see it is that in life it doesn't matter today about anything that once was or about anything that already happened and can not be changed.  The only thing that matters is the here and the now, Right now!   While we continue to  strive towards our futures that are forever in motion and constantly changing. But one important thing I try to never forget are all the things that have brought me to where i am now today.  Because it is those very experiences that helped form and shape me into the kind of person I am right now. It doesn't mean the me I am today would necessarily be the me of tomorrow. I'm constantly evolving. I am a work of art constantly in progress. 

I strongly believe Our lives set the path into making us who we are. And who we are is a CHOICE that we make based on how we allowed life to mold and form us.  We choose who we become! 

Some people believe in God some people don't. I myself can not understand  how anyone can not believe in the existence of God.  To each is own in my book but still although I can understand why some may feel that way but that inner part of me that lives, breathes, and feels knows that there is something much more and I refuse to deny. 

 I love Science and facts and I can be very skeptical at times about many things but I always keep an open mind Too.   But I will not try to be convinced that just because scientifically God can not be proven for me that doesn't prove that God does not exist.   It just means we are not smart enough or equipped enough to prove it and sell it as fact.   Maybe we are just  Not fully evolved to discover this yet.  Nothing in life is impossible.  Or maybe just maybe we are not meant to fully comprehend all matters of existence. In some way it will reveal itself to us at it's own time. 

For someone to get to know me that person would eventually learn that my world is shared in bits and pieces and not everyone gets to know. It's like a puzzle. But I believe it's like that with absolutely everybody. We all have layers and layers and layers beyond ourselves. We are all unique  beings and we are all very special.  I really do believe that we are all very special and we all have the potential to contribute something wonderful and meaningful somewhere in this world. The trick is to find it and balance it with everything else you have to do in this world.  No one ever said it would be easy.  We all have our search, our dreams and our own realities but we all have the power to manifest anything into fruition in our own worlds. 

Winter is my home,  spring is my getaway, summer is my soul mate and  fall is my friend.  For all the seasons mean something to me and I embrace each new season with childlike curiosity and dreams for each new tomorrow.  


Here is a glimpse into my world view on the way I try and approach each waking day. YImagine standing at the edge of a cliff and you're overlooking the mountains and the smell of the crisp fresh mountain water is seeping through your nostrils.  The sky is the perfect shade of blue and the wind is whispering in your ears. The brisk breeze circulating through every inch of your body. The feeling overwhelming and euphoric. A sense of peace and tranquility quenching your very existence. A relaxing sanctuary created in your natural habitat. You are free!   Your arms are extended in the air and you take this ineffable feeling in and you own it. 

This is me and this is who I am. Although different from you we are much the same. For we think, breathe, feel, and live each day of our lives the best we know how. 

This is my short bio my name is Jennifer Molina and welcome to my world! 

Cause with u it's like breathing in air
When I'm in ur arms
Nothing else is there 
Everything about u takes away the scare
I believe it's true
Baby me and u 
That thing we do 
Each time we do
I'm so in love with u 

Catch me cause I'm falling...

Ur love has me so emotional 
I get lost in the times
Lost in my mind 
I get lost in your face 
Lost in this place 
Lost beside u 
There is no other way

But to hold u tight
Make love to u right
This thing we got 
Makes me so dam hot 

Catch me cause I'm falling...


 never let go
Would have me out of control 
This love dynamite 
with u by my side 
Every thing is so right 
 
 this may seem like it's too good to be 
But u and me we complete this dream
Of our lives and our hearts
Can none tear apart 
This love in my mind 
Has me hypnotized

Catch me cause I'm falling....

I'm never letting go
This love soothes my soul 
This aching for u
No spell can undo
This thing that u do 
Has me falling over u

Catch me cause I'm falling.... 

What was once there 
No longer 
That feeling swept under 
Heartache and thunder
The tides have swallowed me whole
Rest assure the love that once was is no more

And u sit there with propositions 
Of the next best thing
Trying to take me back in the ring 
A heart gone mad
U do the math 

It's best we keep on the path of going our separate ways
U claim u can now change
BecauSe shit is real

U see me out the door 
Trying to gas me for some more 
But I know u
and ur dragging me thru 1 more round when I believed u many a time b4 

And yet here we still are
Round 50 

I close my heart to u 
Because if not u trample it with all u do 
Telling me that is ur love
so strong and true 
But my heart don't need a love like this 
Feels like a daze a faze a diss 
Who would want a crazy life like this? 

With u
Empty promises of a tomorrow
Tomorrow never comes
1 more try 1 more cry 
I would be just insane to go thru with this again

One wish..
My heart goes out to u 
But what is no longer there can't be replaced

I sit and stare 
The  bewilderment 
Of This chaotic affair 
Forever enchanting 
This can't be happening 

As I sit and reminiscence 
Of all the sweet tenderness
Wrapped up and tossed away 
For u r to blame 
Friend turned into foe 
Can't take this no more

Watch me as I walk out the door 
No rain can wash this pain away
For we both r insane 
Believing we could live another day 
Comforted by the fears 
The tears
The years

Now losing what was thought as a lasting love
Singing a song 
Of a love went wrong 
As I contemplate  goodbye
U couldn't make this decision any harder 
So don't bother to try 

We will meet once again
Our hearts will forever spend 
Eternity holding on 
Trying to make what's so right
So strong 
But until then 

Until then
The wind will scatter me away
Leading me to a brighter day
Love-Less and departed 

My heart drenched with garbage 
Tossing away 
A life not meant for now 
For we are not fully evolved
Momentary fleeting sound
Gone with the Wind
Ur but a whisper now

Two hearts that would never be found 
In sync 
Never again

One without the other 
The other without the one 
All the love lost
No love won 

Saying goodbye

The ghost of u in my mind

Ur love haunts me

Forever ur love will taunt me 

There are No words for goodbye
This love a drive by
massacred hearts 
Souls ripped
out

Stomped out beat out ripped out shred out 

Bleed out 

Eternal love 

Ur blood runs deep within me

Bleed out 
Forever connected
As I turn and look away 
Walk away
Endless pain 

Goodbye my love