seeds have warped sense of humors .. Uncut craze wave

You have something to say .. Say! ..You have something to learn.. Learn!  If you have something to do.. Do! If you just wish to lurk & creep .. Lurk & Creep!! If you have some sort of vendetta .. Vendetta on .. (But please don't that is never the answer) Just know either way .. I know!!  .. And it doesn't change a single thing about my operation..

I operate on some other dopetaStic realm One that allows me to see clearly and truthfully And allows for me accept and let go

While keeping my heart open and my Love always operating on full service load Keeping me aware

Seeing fully All angles..   I'm an old soul who enjoys playing

And while playing I get to do the most important thing Via the Love channel I get to spread my seeds ... Light Work Yo !! Jesus was no fool !!

HaPpY PiLL

I want YoU HaPpY Like really ReALLY HaPpY Isn't that what We All truly deserve Real hapPiNeSs Real LOVE Real Joy Breath of fkn Fresh Air SuRpriSeS So many becoMe 2engrossed in day 2 day LiVing forgetting what it means 2 LiVE.. Wheres the spontaneity of YoUr life oR are YoU oNe of them WoRkAbOts Too WoRkAbOt WoRkAbOtt WoRkAbOt WoRkAbott Racing against this imaginary spinning cloCk All the while wishing there was something MoRe WoRkAboT WoRkAboTT WoRkAboT WoRkAboTT WoRkAboT

We HuManS loVe to use the words Authentic Original & Unique ForgeTTinG that is EveryThing we already are NaTuRally & most of us falling into the hype rejecting who we are Upon First sight. Where is the fkn sense in that ?!? WoRkAboT WoRkAboTT WoRkAboT WoRkAboTT What ever happened to tasting the RainBow ?!?

What WoRkAboT YoU met that's happy ?!? YoU caN bE haPPy DiG dEEpEr

Mirror uncut

So You are here.. Awesome! I hear today is your day.. Fabulous! And yet on YoUr day YoU find yourself here.. So, I guess it is true.. This world of Enchantments.. YoU follow me here As I follow You there .. When Do our Systems finally crash.. you know .. One into the other The other into the one ??!!?? Some cosmic fun.. This is after all YoUr day !! Magical by far Beautiful as YoU are Yum I could bite You.. Would You let me bite into YoU.. This Space This place This time .. It's ours Clock hours YoUr mine .. Race Pace Trace.. Fingertips interlace Lips tracing every surface of our skin.. Breathtaking.. Awakening our hearts within Setting ablaze Fiery displays This is YoUr Day!! Expel the explosion Utter devotion Of our Love gone mad.. Will we ever understand .. Your eyes My eyes Ignite the skies YoUr soul My Soul Surrending Control.. What a sight to Behold!! You're here Times near Release.. This gate YoUr escape Mesmerize This time Unwind Converge Embrace our calling No need to hide Our journey Soul fury We're one in the same Mirrored reflections, Always playing games This is YoUr day Wish fulfillments coming true Surrendering ourselves My Love Oh please, would YoU, could YoU Let me have my way with YoU Here to Please Scintillating ... Look into my eyes Alice never lies .. YoUr heart is safe with me.. Today is Your day Have your fkn way Ravage me into ecstasy We enter into Nirvana Pleasure unfolds Treasure so bold & OURS Firestorm on Display Today is YoUr day!! Happiness served on a silver platter Every desire We inspire As one Only steps away Step back Breathe in Release Candles blown out in one sweep For Your wishes do come True Ultra blast Heavens dance Angels kiss Special wish For heaven sanctified this .. our love will light more souls.. Today is your day .. Your light Our light Cemented in scrolls ... Let's lose our senses ..

I love This Song ... Bones ~ Melanie Fiona

 You make my heart hurt, you my love burn You make the cuts down, you make my world turn But words mean nothing, cause I've abuse them oh, oh, oh And you're touching the surface when I need infusion

Oh, oh, oh [Chorus:] Straight through your skin, Pass your soul to your bones Closer, longer, deeper Further inside you, than you've ever known Desperately trying to feel ya Ooh, Ooh, Ooh I need your bones Ooh, Ooh, Ooh Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie your bones!

I wanna own you, I wanna consume you Get all molecular and pass myself through you! Hey, baby! Cause nothing's enough, and I'm slowly dying Oh, oh, oh So please, save me now, you gotta keep trying, Oh, you gotta keep trying [Chorus:] Straight through your skin, Pass your soul to your bones Closer, longer, deeper Further inside you, than you've ever known Desperately trying to feel ya Ooh, Ooh, Ooh I need your bones Ooh, Ooh, Ooh Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie your bones! I passed your liver and your kidneys and your lungs. Closer, deeper. Cause I wanna get lost in, mixed-up in, in you Yeah, yeah, yeah! [Chorus:] Yeah, straight through your skin, Pass your soul to your bones Closer, longer, deeper Further inside you, than you've ever known Desperately trying to feel ya Ooh, Ooh, Ooh I need your bones Ooh, Ooh, Ooh Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie your bones!

Uncut/unfinished saved Draft from 12/17/13 .. Bleh blah

I thinks about all the lost writings

that got lost over the years ..
I still get emotional talking about it, because I "believed" that those writings, memories , etc ..
I "believed" they were "Lost" forever..

But that is bullshit ..
I just realized this now ..
I even punished myself by purposely not writing at different periods of my life just because it angered me at the "thought" of all those things that I once had, we're forever gone ..

I became "Madd" ...

 ( that's as far as I will go with that thought process on here ) lol but yea anyway that's all bullshit anyway ..
Everything I've ever written or created is fkn mine ...

So on that note (I am trying not 2 pay attention to commas & such  as I write this uncut shit .. But it's fkn driving me crazy ..

So I purposely put shit in the wrong place .. & I swear it drives a part of me crazy..

But I shut out that noise immediately.. But it's still there lol .. ) I'm kind of feeling irritable at this very moment (not irritable in the sense of taking it out on others .. Cause I def don't do that .. But I keep away from all .. Because people can annoy me at times ..

But deep down I know it's not them ..
It's me .. So since I know this .. I just keep away ..

Silence ..
I always need that ..

And I am grateful to be blessed to have that "moment to myself" at least almost everyday ..

But these last 2 days uh-uh .. I've been surrounded .. Not left alone .. & I'm pretty sensitive to energies around me .. & you know I can't keep my bubble on forever .. lol after all I am still only "human!"

What is human ??
So not fkn going there tonight ...

Haha..
L.a.L <~~~ I really love that saying  .. My sis made it up .. Or at least she thinks she did .. & by her believing I never once doubted her .. She's pretty clever & I find her absolutely hysterical. It's always been her & I

. ALWAYS!! That's priceless!!!

Although I still will never  understand how in the world people "claim" words, phrases, sentences .. Like are u fkn kidding me .. Thoughts have energy in them (science proves that .. (At least i think they do .. )

oh boii another distraction .. lol what the fk is it with us... Me .. You..

Momentary distraction... ha!

 Yes what is up with "We" people wanting to "know" shit like "craving monsters" searching .. Looking ... Hunting ..& believe  you , me .. That's cool .. I think that zest for knowledge

in whatever interest you is fkn BEAUTIFUL..  

But the problem that exist all around us .. The more "dominating" energy force .. It's on a major negative .. Like negative shouldn't even be the word to describe it (although it's still negative ) but it's "darker" than that .. many people want to "know" all the wrong shit .. Things that do not even really matter .things to me that just never made any sense .. . & you have the vast majority making themselves miserable over the "nonsense" of "knowledge" &"things" they "hunt" for ...&

Now leave me alone !! lol 

Omg but b4 I go rambling on about God knows what lol the point I was trying to make before all this rambling .. Was.. Is.. Everything I ever written or created in (yup I went bk up to re~read because even I forgot what I was fkn talking about .. lol I didn't forget .. But then there would of been just another "empty space" above .. And Lord knows now how extremely conscientious of everything I'm sending out into this very funny Universe

.. So for Universe sake &; all it's funny little dynamics .. I "choose" to "intentionally" fill in that "empty space" &; retrieve (receive)  all that is mine !!

Blah bleh meh.. Still haven't said it lol I too... Can be annoying .. I think .. Well anyways we are all individuals with are own "preferences" ... Anyways, I am setting a major Intention here ... I recall & desire to get back all that was lost ...

Because it's fkn Mine.. Duh!! (And that's not ego talking either lol .. It's just simple truth .. Created by me!

dreaMer

I would not come between a person & their dreams .. Especially when they mean the world to me .. I would happily step aside and watch them dance ..

And be so proud and filled with Love as their Passions ignite my Life..

My Love is their protection ..

My LoVe is their protection...

Woke up with Mum on my mind ..

I know if I listen...  

If I truly, deeply listen...  

I would be able to hear her.  

Yet, I can't help but wish she were still here,  

For it would be so much simpler to just lay it all out expressively and vividly,  

Where she could see me, and witness the emotions my expressions reveal.

She was the closest thing I had to a best friend.  

She taught me how to love.  

I adored everything about her—  

Her voice,  

Her hair,  

Her style,  

Her attitude,  

Her sex appeal,  

Her kindness,  

Her love for both my sister and me,  

Her passion, her devotion—  

You name it, I loved it.  

I was her biggest fan.

I can't help but cry as I write this,  

For my ocean of love for her still exists, vast and deep, to this very day.  

I know it's the holidays, and I should be all cheerful, jolly, and exuberantly excited.

Yes, I will be those things...  

But right now, I am alone with myself, and I am allowed to feel however I want.  

And I woke up with my mother on my mind, not on purpose either.  

And I shouldn't need a reason to think of her anyway.  

Too often, she is the one who gets swept under my carpet of realities that no longer bear any fruit—she will always be my root grower—but you know, out of sight, out of mind (so to speak).

This year was a big "Mommy" year.  

I say big because, for the first time, I was not alone.  

This year was the year of the Sisters, and we had questions...  

Many, many, many questions.  

And just like that...  

The floodgates were opened...

We still block her.  

I still block her.  

I know that I shouldn't.  

This November marked 22 years since she left this earthly dimension.  

And 22 years "seems" like forever, but isn't love—real love, unconditional love—  

Well, isn't that something that lasts forever?  

Whether in this realm or the next,  

At least that is the way I see it.  

They say nothing lasts forever.  

I say, wow, aren't you cold in there?  

NOTHING??  

Well, f**k, I had it all wrong then if that is the case.  

Because I could have sworn LOVE is FOREVER.  

Real love, anyway.  

And I LOVE my mom.  

I always have, and I always will,  

In this lifetime and any lifetime,  

Because there is nothing, not a damn thing, that could ever destroy that truth...  

LOVE transcends any logical understanding of things.  

LOVE, most of the time, doesn't make any sense.  

People always ask me how you know love, how you know when it is love, how you know it is real.  

And my answer has always remained the same.  

It's crazy too because I believe I have been saying this since, oh my god, probably before I even turned 13.  

But hey, what does a child know anyway...  

What could a child know about love...  

But oh, believe me,  

Children UNDERSTAND & KNOW love better than f**king adults (especially in this day and age).  

Somewhere along the lines of growth, many forget their hearts and the depth and meaning of unconditional when it concerns love.  

But when people ask me about love and how I knew when it was real, I would say because you feel it.  

And it doesn't matter whether that person is here in your life one moment and gone the next...  

When you love, LOVE never leaves you.  

Time will always reveal if you truly love in the way you once first believed you loved.  

But what is time...?

And for me, this statement alone proved right for me in my world.  

It taught me the difference and the truth behind those words I so often found myself having to express.  

Showing me that love is not always forever...  

Which, of course, only intrigued me to dig deeper as to how and why that was possible...  

Which ultimately led me to the conclusion that if you find that love no longer exists for something or someone as you once previously believed...  

Well then, maybe... Just maybe it was never love to begin with...

But as I said, time will be the true revealer of all these things.  

All we have is time anyway.  

What is time?  

Time is the imaginary clock that we all watch and believe is ticking away.  

Well, the same concept can be applied to the imagery of love...  

This imaginary clock, tick-ticking away...  

And it's limitless, endless, magical.

She was my first introduction to magic,  

Making me an extreme believer

Happy Holidays