I don't know what this letter is going to say, but I do know that whatever is in it will come from my heart and be the absolute truth. Part of my battle with you is that I know that you are a wonderful man, great man!! But, my battle is not with the man himself its with the man inside himself. The man that has never shown his face. I am a pretty simple girl for the most part, I do not need to have someone get carried away in the dynamics of romance, whisking me away far and abroad.. Although those grand gestures of love would certainly be welcomed and ok from time to time. I am after all a girl by nature. I am a woman filled with life, love, joy, optimism, romance , PASSION & so forth... I need those very things too, especially when it comes to love and close intimate relationships. I NEED to feel the love .. I NEED to experience the passion... I NEED for the earth to move beneath my feet and know that whomever is standing there beside me feels the same exact Way as i do... and is not afraid to go there into the depths of our souls... our own realms of existence created together....
And that is what I need from love ...
And I haven't found that yet...
But What I need from life now is to not get lost in this battle with man... I am still a woman repairing my own broken wings, preparing myself to take off... And this sad moment aches to cripple the wings further from repair...
And this battle with man, it is not my fight.. This is yours... And it leaves me feeling depleted, exhausted & lost. I dont need any soul searching i know for certain WHO i am, WHAT i am, WHERE i am going, and i know what i want... i KNOW my own worth, because i KNOW what i have to offer and give.. but.. the person i give that part of myself to would have given me the same....
I don't want to feel like I'm cheating myself & I do not wish to crave for something that should be given to me oh so naturally, especially given to me from acts of love.
Call me old fashioned..
But When did chivalry die ??
Is it too mundane & considered unnecessary to attempt too "woo" a woman you claim to love?
it too much to ask for some kind of recognition or acknowledgement from you that I EXIST ????
I'm sorry.. But that list can go on and on especially when I think of the lunacy of such absurdity as to think that this should be something I would have to ask for .... This should be GIVEN.. And I should NOT, nor do I wish to have to spoon feed u into the dynamics of proper courtship. Cause to me that is ridiculous.
Hun I can't make u do anything that u do not want to do...
Hence dilemma...
You NEVER really tried ...
Butttt....
It's not you, it me!!
You are who you are
And I am who I am
There is no changing this difference.. This huge futuristic possibility... One that has proven to be combative.
I can't make u who u are not, and vice versa...
But I can control where I am headed In my world, with my own actions...
If hugs are what you need I can give a hug, but as nothing more is said or done , nothing more than a hug will ever be received by me to any false breed of nobody for me.
Welcome Mr.Nobody its nice to know that Mr.Nobody can own up to this forever sought out Atlantis that seems to be missing from my life ...
Mr. Nobody meet Mrs. Nobody
Update P.S.
June 13, 2014 ... 3:40 pm
Just found a piece of this writing and OMGGGG .. Thats all i have to pS about... Oh yeaa & whattt in the world ... LocaiSh
