Uncut train rant / kids

I can't help but smile immensely on the train ...

Seeing
All these little kiddies in their costumes..  

And these huge smiles on their faces..


Kids love me ..

The kids I teach yoga
To.. They are adorable ...
They love me !!

Kids are the light of this world ...

Pay attention !!!

Uncut chant / me

Time
??
Time
Is what u make of it

Space
?!?
I need that


Understanding
??!?
I got that


Depth
??!!?
I explore that


Truth
??!!!
I Live that

Uncut chant / feeding tubes

We are nothing but feeding tubes ...

& sometimes the tubes become rotten ..

And they dispel such gastric bile to our cores ...

Vomit!!

& at other times these tubes ..

Well they connect ..

They connect & they FEED...

Know what I mean ????

Uncut chant / the witching hour / it's 12:00

This space
this place
it's real
This time
Our time
It's ours
This clock
This heart
This ticking tower
This beat
So sweet
Incomplete
This dream
So real
We desire it
Your heart
My heart
We devour it
Your heat
My treat
We savor it
This deep
Our pulse
We Flavor it
Your lips
My lips
We play with it
We dance
Our dance
Convergence

Uncut Chant / u know!

Maybe it was something in the air
Some kinetic drive by...
& our souls kissed..
Enchantedness...
I think of you always..

Tell me...

How was the ride ?

UNCUT CHANT / FACT !!!

Love is never blind .. It's the people who are !!!! 

Just words ...

Sometimes the most beautifulest must be seen abstractly ...

Uncut chant - system crash!!

What's in a connection .. There are no explanations .. Only feelings .. Feelings that sometimes go against our very foundations we have long built up... & when the connection hits, all systems crash !!!

Uncut Chant ~ favorite band <~~ yup I said Favorite :)

My favorite band ...
Now you all know I say I don't have any favorite anything ..
But never say never ..
And there are always exceptions ..

My favorite band ..

And here's why ...

(Musicality wise .. )

Drummer boy ...
Watching him play is hypnotic to your senses. He gets lost in his space.. In his place .. And he plays .. Full heart, body, mind & soul ... I mean he takes you there .. He drums his beat.. His heat .. Right into ur heart .. My moon in Pisces allows me to truly understand & feel how immersed this man is when it is concerning music ... He exudes it .. He dances while he plays .. I wonder where he goes ... Hypnotic flow .. Trance .. Sexy is an understatement of what he embodies ... Magnificent in his own right .. He is an animal !! If you want to go there, he will take you there .. I am honored to have encountered such loveliness ... At home, when I dance , I drum my body to his beat ..
Lovely!!!
I want him to dance with me :)))

.... The most humble , kind of the 3.. To label him solely a guitarist would be an insult ... Well to label any one of them just one thing would be an absolute insult ... So this statement actually applies to them all... But yes their guitarist/pianist /whatever ... I watch him too.. And when u watch you see him go .. He goes somewhere .. And it is far .. And he's so joyous ... His energy radiates and magnifies and u feel that shit ... U feel it hard ... They all put u in their trance ... It's hard to snap out of .. His aura is splendid ... Even in his mannerisms he is kind .. He moves with freedom and joy & that is exactly what it feels like to watch him... He's awesome !!!!!!

Drum roll please...

The one !!

Riiiigghhhtttt ..
Girls of all ages .. Shit, even boys of all ages lol ... (Well u know what this applies to them All too.. But u know lead singer .. Title/smoldering good looks .. Blah bleh meh.. U know what I mean ) lol well him.. Yup he definitely could do it to you ... Take you allllll the way there ... I remember the first time seeing him in concert.. & u know its 1 thing to listen to recorded music & it's another thing experiencing it live ..

 & these guys were my first actual concert experience ever !! I was 28 yrs old, & I had never been to a concert ... & I just recently learning the faces behind the music I loved .. I see this most beautiful man get on stage & hearing him sing the words I have grown to love & matching the sound to what I am use to hearing... I was mesmerized....
 Lol & impressed ..

He is the spirit of everything he sings !!!!...
He moves majestically / enchantingly across the stage acting crazy , being sexy and always remaining cool ... & There is more then what meets the eye ..

. Of course he is gorgeous ... That too is an understatement ...

But hear him sing, like really hear him sing ... watch him move, watch...  Listen to him talk , Listen!! observe... Observe!!!
 ... Hear him roar ...
Lol

Do not be fooled by the glitz & glamour ... There is always more ..

Right ??!

His song moves me..  

He exudes everything Good ... Like really really Good..

 Amazing aura ...

Well anyways ...

Gotta go ...

Namaste
& thanks for reading

I wonder how ur favorite band makes u feel ...

Sharing =' caring

Uncut Christmas (?) idk uncut something lol

I always get asked if my Christmas is ever short changed being a December baby & all.. I mean those were the jokes growing up .. U know combining Xmas/bday presents .. That was never the case of course .. But my question following would always be .. Does it really matter ??!?? What are presents anyway ???

I'm going to move my writing now to paper & pen .. My favorite !!! 

At this moment no more sharing ...


Thank you for always stopping by ..
And may ur day be filled with awesome, wonderful , spectacular , happy, loving things..


I really do wish that for u & mean it!!

Cross my heart :)

Xoxo
Pisces Moon Child 

UNCUT chant / More train rides .. Alice meets Monkey .. True story

Train rants .. Let's see what will i say .. I am not sure if I feel poetic at this very moment .. I would say more like there is this nervous, frantic like , excitement ... Exuding from every single pore in my body ..

It's like feel the rush ..

So instead let me document it ..

As I listen to my shuffle that sings it's Praises to me ..

Reconfirming all my Dreams Spoken out loud ...

Ride the train..
Feel the toxic fumes as u take it all in ..

Hmm.. Would u go unnoticed ..

As everyone sits / stands / breathes all around u ...

In this world do you go unnoticed ???

Is it possible to exist and not be seen ??

And when seen ..
Seen by whom ???

Rants / chants / what do they mean ??

Entering into a muffled existence putting together all the puzzle pieces and deciphering which road / path / movement / dance to do next ..

What are ur choices ???

For they are our own ..

Or so we believe ..

Illusions/disillusionments

All the same ..

Interpretation ..

Well it's a matter of vision .. Ain't it .. Hate that word .. Choices ..
Purposely used .. Why ..

A monkey sits before me ..

Perception..

What world is he in at this very moment ..

Seen ?!??!!!!!!!

I see him ..
He doesn't see me ..

Monkey ..
Where r u ??
U hang ur head low .. Fidget with ur belongings ..

Do u love u ..

Why hang so low ..

Where r u ..

Hi, I am Alice !!

Welcome to wonderland ..
Would u like for me to be ur guide ??

Love .. What is that u love ..

Self ??

Most important .. Although we are fed to believe that to do such things ahold make us selfish ..

But I ask u Monkey ..
U sit here hang head low ..
Lost somewhere inside urself ..
Dreaming to break.
Free ?!?!
Do u love urself ??

Now..
Monkey .. Raise ur head ..

Wow.. Monkey .. U have beautiful eyes ..

Beautiful .. Most exquisite ..
Here .. Look (as I hand Monkey my phone with camera open to self reflect )

Look at those eyes Monkey ..

They are beautiful ...

Can YOU see Monkey ???

(Monkey 1/2 smiles )

Monkey that is the first step ..

Chant/rant/retrospect/reflect/introspect/accept/protect/embrace/love

Monkey ..
See the beauty through ur eyes ..

Only way I swear .. I'm
Alice, Monkey, I AM ALICE.. I Swear & i repeat!!!

I do not lie ..

Ok Monkey.. Look around .. What do ur Beautiful eyes SEE ???

Truly truly truly truly
Practice practice practice practice
Try try try try try try try
BELIEVE BELIEVE BELIEVE BELIEVE
Trust trust trust trust trust trust trust trust
Faith faith faith FAITH faith faith

Do you SEE now ..

First step ..
First step..
First step..

Staircases will present themselves in all due time ...

First step.:

monkey ...
I LOVE YOU!!!!

Did you hear me ??!

I LOVE YOU !!!!

Alice the most sincere , honest , loving , believer you will ever meet ...


You met me for a reason ..

Monkey .. I saw u ..

And by me seeing You..

You now could see urself ...

First step ..

Let go of the staircase ..

In all due time
.. Remember


Time optical illusion ..

Let that go too ..

Ur focus ..
Only on belief ..

That's ur job ...

Fk escalators too ...
They go too fast ..
enjoy each Step ..

Each step is an ultimate discovery ..

Layer upon layer

Unfolding ...

Yield to the folds ...

But remember Monkey ..

Smile/love/appreciate/try/believe/LOVE/Smile/LOVE

LOVE urself first !!!

U hang low cause u don't love ..

U don't love YOU!

I tell u monkey ..

I am Alice .. & I LOVE you..

Ur fkn awesome ...

At least I know so ..

Do you know ..

Well today either way  is the first step into u now realizing that
For urself ..

Well Monkey .. This is my stop now .. For I must go ..
Omg MONKEY I am so fkn happy that I met u ..

U are AMAZING ...

I will think of you ..

And I hope to see you again ..

And next time I might not recognize u at first .. For don't feel bad .. It would be because you will be Hanging HIGH.. I swear .

I'm Alice.. And I licked a mushroom ..

I know what I say ..

You will be Hanging high ..

And then when I SEE..

I would say ooohhh Monkey .. U evolved !!!!

amazing !!!

Well monkey it was an absolute pleasure ...

This was a most magnificent Train ride Uncut Chant

Blessings

Why

Why.........




Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....


Uuuuuuuuuuuuuu....





HeeeeeRrrrrreeeeeeeee


???????????

Uncut chant ~ connections

Think of it this way..
This connection..
These coincidences ..
Even if they are not directly linked ..
Well.. In our understandable minds eye..
It still is a universal connection..
One that didn't have to be made..
But yet was..
Why ??
Now that is the question!!!

Uncut chant ~ more train ride rants .. Where is my mind lol

Compelled to write .. About what ?? Who the fk knows .. But my spirit within just acknowledges the love within, bursting out into every landscape created before me...

And as I write this my shuffle plays ... And he sings to me ... Reminding me of the fantasy ... Everything about my existence breathes into his.. Connecting every dynamic part of our souls intertwining it into everything we are meant to be....

Forever  ...

I write and know not what I am going to say ..
But yet the words overflow and pour onto my world..

Reminding me..
Awakening my very soul ..

My thoughts ...
My expressions ..
My fantasies ...

Those things are indeed tangible ...
These very things in which I believe are mine for the taking ...

My heart skips beats ..

And everything in between all the dreams of past lives .. All future occurrences .. Are wheeling in to this time ..

My time ..

This moment ...

The fantasy

By simple uncovering our worlds collide

unleashing  what has always been..

Ours..

Rude awakening..
Wait..

What am I saying ??!?

Where do these words lead ...

Who's heart is singing out loud ..

What the fk am I talking about ?

Alice, where are you ??

Muffled silences ..

Disturbia ..

Uncut chant / train rides .. Meh!

Independent as I am,
Prideful as I can be ..
& I still can not seem to erase this profound effect u have on me ...
Wiser than most fools I've never gotten lost in the hype ..
But what the fk is it about u ..
That I desire u in my life ...
How could this be possible for I am in complete control  ..

Or at least until now ...

Why does everything unreal feel ever so right...

reality failing to match up with this description..

placed in my heart in my heart in my head  ..

I know fantasy ..
I fkn know the difference ..
What kind of woman do you take me for...

Dreamer Dances awake In many a realm but dizzy feet always in touch with earthly reality..

I've been plagued with enough insanity to last me many a lifetime ..

So, I ask myself why,  why this fkn time...

Warrior of love engulfed in flames..
Spellbound?

Enchantment scrolls laid out  on the ground ...

You put a spell on me!!

uncut Rant/Chant ~~ #WtfIsBeauty ..

Why do I #WtfisBeauty

????

Good question..

Wtf is beauty ? And why should it be compared ? Who is doing the comparison ? Who is providing the meaning, the definition to its very significance ??? Wtf is beauty ???

And why are so many in this world wandering around not feeling BEAUTIFUL ????!

Hold on .. I want to know the definition of beauty .. I want to know what the word itself is defined as...

Ok a quick copy/paste (courtesy of my iPhone (which I still love btw.. I know it's just "technology" & I know that my "reliance" on this "thing" is ridiculous .. But wth whatever !! Lol

Here's googles definition of BEAUTY ..

We all google right ? Do u google ? Or wait is that me just assuming .. I wouldn't want to assume.. So anyways .. I use google (not that this is any form of advertisement for Google either .. I am only revealing one version of "beauty's" source/origin ..

Ok shhh.. ( that was to myself ) I try to take advantage with these rants & type on my keypad like a thousand words per minute .. Cause I am honestly trying to capture / via technology  every "understandable" thought process passing thru my head at these very moments I really like the concept of raw .. Too many a times we hide the raw (idk I guess in some fear .. Multitude of possibilities where that fear can stem from .. Rejection .. Idk .. Anyways .. Everyone is their own Captain.. ) 

Reject me ..
Ha! That's fine ..
For I will still always be.. ME!!
& I am In LOVE finally .. With who I am..
And I sleep well at night .

(Figure of speech.. Cause we all know .. Well if u know me.. I don't sleep .. Well In the traditional sense .. Blah blah meh Jennifer shut up..

Lol

Beauty .. Google.. Definition ...

1.
a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, esp. the sight.
"I was struck by her beauty"
antonyms: ugliness
denoting something intended to make a woman more attractive.
modifier noun: beauty
Ex...."beauty products"
2.
a beautiful or pleasing thing or person, in particular.
Ex... a beautiful woman.

Hmm..
Pleases the aesthetic senses ...
What's that ??
Well I know what aesthetic means ..
But I'm obsessive compulsive so I want to chop this 1 down to size ..

Because that's what we humans do .. Dissect .. Inspect ... Retrospect ..

List goes
On & on
With the things each of us do .. When we want to do .. :))

Well anyways ..
Let's borrow googles definition again ..

Aesthetic ..
 

& if u r reading this ..
Please what is written up above .. U know there under Aesthetics ..
Everything I wrote in the < > is NOT .. I repeat NOT googles definition of the word aesthetic ..


Ok .. Google . My dog is bothering me .. Distractions .. Minor irritations.. Think good thoughts.. Love my dog .. He's so handsome ... Awww he makes the most adorable pups.. Omg he is so annoying .. lol

Ok ..
Google .. Definition.. (Not mine ).. Google.. Aesthetics..

adjective
1.
concerned with beauty or the appreciation of beauty.
"the pictures give great aesthetic pleasure"
noun
noun: aesthetic; plural noun: aesthetics; noun: esthetic; plural noun: esthetics
1.
a set of principles underlying and guiding the work of a particular artist or artistic movement.
"the Cubist aesthetic"


I know I get lost in the movement with the voice of my words
And the sounds in my mind
All intertwined
These words written all over the place
Scattered race
Be glad you have the option of reading ..

Imagine that if I were talking to u right now about anything.. ANYTHING that I was thinking about .. Because we were together in some sort of conversation ... Sometimes I have my moments .. I will admit .. (Whatever blow me lol ) I can talk a whole in ur head .. And ring out ur ears with .. I will call it enchantments .. Lol but yes I have a lot to say .. My mind is always on warp turbo speed .. And I find many many many many things fascinating .. And I like to share / talk / write about it ..

I don't know what compels / drives me to do the very things that I do ..
Constantly .. Since young .. Writing .. Reading.. Dancing ..acting ..  Blah and blah .. It's just there .. Always taking action.. Performing shit for me ..
Sort of like what people call multiple personalities .. Or blended multiple personalities .. Whatever .. And we all should do the things we love .. And I love writing / talking to anyone who is willing to listen as well as engage In some fun / dynamic / thought provoking / stimulating conversation ...

Don't get me wrong .
I am not everyone's cup of tea ..
We all have our preferences ..
That's cool ..
I won't bother u ..
Unless we are friends .. Like really good friends .. Like inner circle .. Well then u have no choice but to always hear my chants ..

Awww my inner posse .
I love each & every single one of them to pieces ...

It's funny too cause I am never insulted when I put people to sleep when I talk .. Because I understand ur tired & usually most likely it is very very late .. I still finish for the most part what it is that I have to say anyway .. Lol

We record .. Ok (I) record a lot of conversations .. (Amongst friends) I tell them about it.. I just never say when .. It's funny when we talk about certain things & it's being recorded & no one knows (except me of course ) & when all is said & done .. I'm like ta..da.. It's recorded .. Everyone wants to kill me .. With love of course .. But it's funny .. I would never expose those .. It's more for memorabilia .. These are those good moments .. Those wonderful moments .. Uncut / raw / funny / and BEAUTIFUL..

Hmm.. Beauty ..

Yes exactly ..


Guess Alice wandered off again  ..

Beauty / aesthetics ..

Where was I going with that ..
Hmm..
Let me go bk & read definitions .. See where my thoughts take me ..

Ok ..
Senses.. What are senses..

Google..
Drum roll please ..

Senses..
a faculty by which the body perceives an external stimulus; one of the faculties of sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch.
2. a feeling that something is the case.
3. (Verb) perceive by a sense or senses.

Wow I love the verb definition really makes sense .. If u know what sense means .. How would u describe sense .. Try googles verb way .. Cause really that shit sucks .. What kind of definition is that lol senses are senses 0.O

How about senses  are a subjective Personal Self experience that involves the 5 senses (sight, smell, hearing, taste & touch) along with an inner personal choice as to what one perceives to "feel" about all one encounters and experiences within their  lifetime..

Lol

Even I baffle myself sometimes lol
I just re-read that & I promise I left all as it was originally written ..

Uncut remember ..

Ok ..

So from "my" understanding from all these definitions is that beauty is perceived subjectively ...

Hmm..
Ok subjectively ..
But we live in a world that objectifies BEAUTY.. When beauty itself is not tangible ( in theory .. Bigger picture .. ) it can only be perceived ?? Wait did I even write that right ?? I know what I mean just not sure if I wrote it right ..

An artist paints a picture
A singer sings a song
A mother combs her child's hair
A magazine prints an article on 50 of the WORLD's most BEAUTIFUL people
A director finishes his film
A dancer dances a song

When the artist paints his picture.. He does it with a fiery passion .. He loves what he is doing .. His master piece is his beautiful creation ..

I think his painting is atrocious & notice that it also brings up intense feelings of bile building in my digestive tract & I feel like vomiting at this most ugh! Repulsive "art"...

Singer sings his song.. Sings it all day long .. Records his record album. Heart, soul & Passion went into this work of musical expression.. Album drops .. Another version of art being expressed...

Is it beauty?
To the singer it is ..

News update .. 1 month later Album flops from sales to stops ..

Wait expressionism ..
The word itself employs artist ..
Express.. - art .. All things associated with beauty ..

Expression it is the very thing that awakens our senses ..

Someone's expression that gets our attention ignites an audience display
& WE the audience decide (Subjectively) what we "see" <1 5="" of="" senses="" the=""> What we "hear" <1 5="" of="" senses="" the=""> what we "feel" <1 5="" of="" senses="" the=""> .. U get my drift (listed 3 of the 5) 
I'm fkn tired .. But need to finish this .. & I fkn talk a lot / write a lot / think a lot .. Need sleep lol


This mother combs her daughters hair for school. She tells her daughter she is beautiful (awww sweet ) the 7 year old little girl feeling beautiful gets to school only to be called ugly by other students.

Hey did u know this same little girl cuts herself & also hates herself because she doesn't feel beautiful ....  


Or what she is told is beautiful ..
Oh how her own perspective "subconsciously" warps her mind based on these "hurtful" most "traumatic" experiences that even this beautiful 7 year old girl now believes that what she is / who she is / everything she is / is not beautiful...

(Sorry had to hone in on that one there )

Millions / billions / Trillions Magazines sold through out the world depicting beauty .. Style .. Fashion .. BEAUTY ..

Did we all miss something here ??

Was there a consensus with the entire world that we All missed where it became agreed upon that we would accept & believe that whatever we are sold / & told is beauty .. We accept as "Truth" ???

That we then all begin comparing and contrasting ..



One against the other ..

Even if the comparisons are done subconsciously or internally..

From within comes
Without

Instead of loving ..
We are all Sizing one another up ..

??!??

A director directs a film ..
The film Makes it into the movie theaters ..
Movie gets rave rave reviews ..
I watch the movie ..
I think it sucks ..

Or switch it ..
The movie flops ..
By critics (1 persons perspective ) & because of the review many other people don't go see this film as they originally planned .. So they do not really know .. But they predetermined their own "future " "feeling " experience .. Based solely on a critiques review of the film.


Dancer auditions
Dances the Dance of her soul.
Beauty conquering Beats..
She's beautiful ..

But she doesn't make the cut ..

Why ??

One persons perception & decision making process determines this dancers fate ..

She says there was no beauty in this dancers dance ...

Is that so ?? Or was that just her account of what she perceived to be true ???

Wtf is beauty ??

It is a personal opinion ..

Is your perception of beauty tainted by the worlds perception of beauty ??

Do you look at yourself in amazement & honor your own beauty by recognizing your own contribution to art & expression in this world ....

YOU ARE BEAUTY ...

You are everything you believe
You are !!!!!

From within exudes without ..

Don't forget that when it concerns aesthetics everything is subjective & personal for each and every individual.

And just because we are sold by a market that has us conditioned to believe otherwise, doesn't mean we have to fall prey ...

You shouldn't be made to feel any less beautiful ...

There are no comparisons ..
Only personal preferences ..

But we should first all truly learn how to accept Our own infrastructure & landscape ..

Once you accept & really believe and  see the beauty in yourself ... EVERYTHING else around you is appreciated wholeheartedly for the wonderful beauty that it brings  into your world.

"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it." Confucius

Let's change that ..

Love yourself ..
Like really truly love urself

"The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with  the heart." Helen Keller

So if beauty is truly something that has to be seen to be perceived .. Are blind people not capable of experiencing or understanding beauty ??? If beauty could be heard .. Are deaf people not allowed to hear/understand  the sound of beauty ??

How would you know .. Are you too incapable of hearing ??? Does that make it incomprehensible ???

Wtf is beauty ..

Beauty is what is aesthetically pleasing to you .. And somewhere deeper way passed your five senses there is the core .. The heart of the matter ..

Heart ...
Beauty...
Beauty / heart
Beauty exists from the heart
Heart exudes beauty
Beauty is of the heart ...

Or maybe just maybe...

in the heart is where  Beauty is Born ...


Well this concludes this rant / chant ..

Did I discover anything new.. Who knows I will read this shit bk 2 myself in the morning ...

Of course I will leave all that is .. As is .. Even when I am tempted to delete .. Lol

Wait .. Yes I did learn something ..

These words .. My words .. My blog ..

It's beautiful <3 nbsp="" p="">
Ta-da and just like that beauty is born  ...

Ok it's really really late
If I am lucky I will sleep 2-3 hrs and feel as if I slept 100 hours in the morning ...

If you read all the way down to this very line .. I wonder about you ..

Lol .. No like seriously I like wonder about u..

Have we met before ?? Lol

What brought you here ??

Anyway..  I am truly grateful for whatever compelled u to read .. Even if by the time you reach this part you say .. "This is stupid" ok .. That's fine too.. But even if u don't see .. Somewhere deep Inside ur subconscious a seed has been planted .. What it will grow Into , well that is entirely up to you ..

& either way .. THANK YOU for your most precious precious time & momentary undivided attention ...

May peace , Love , joy , Happiness &  BEAUTY surround EVERY part of your existence ..

Namaste. ;)

WonderDaze

Is it possible that this time
Around

U are actually

SEEing me

For the first time ?!

Uncut poem / just a lil something that came to mind

He calls me beautiful
And I know he really means it
What is the Beauty that he sees & who is he so enamored by..
Where is she .. Where is the beauty that he sees ..
Why can't I too see the beauty..
He whispers he loves me ..
What is it that he loves ..
Who is it that he says he sees & who is she that he professes his heart & soul to...
Thanking the Gods above to have found his true happiness ..
Why can't I too see these things..
He looks at me with so much affection, & it pains me to look his way ..
Where is my love ?!?
Who am I today ?
He sings me lullabies to sleep & i joyously take them in..
for I filter off from this reality & enter my world within...
& that's where I see him..
Ultimate galaxy ..
But as I awake from my Dream.. it is he who smiles & tells me that it is I who is beautiful ...

Uncut Chant / poem/monologue who knows I just the write shit lol

Do u notice me, as I've noticed you Or could u just simply walk away
Ignoring the obvious connection between our souls
Is it too far fetched of an idea to believe that something so profound could actually exist
I mean they make movies based on this..
The belief has to start from somewhere right ?
Ha! Or will you tell me that fairy tales are not real ?
Well who said connections are fairy tales ?
Or is that what society has u conditioned to believe ?
Come on now, I thought you would be wiser than the fools with the tools selling all this commercial bullshit
But fine! Have it your way ..
See if your soul lets you sleep at night ..
And sure you may forget me, but ur soul never will
And there will come a time in ur life where u will feel like ur missing something ...
And this unbearable longing May have become muffled with all ur disillusionments u fed urself over the years ...
But I will know..
You would have an inkling..
Our souls they would forever be the keeper of our secrets..
I on the other hand for having acknowledged once in the past What we truly were, I am fortunate to have been able to move on & continue to create & manifest more soul connections ..
Because that's the beauty with it all..
Not anyone could ever be the reason you fall..
Are u going to tell me now that we don't think alike ?
Blasphemy !!
We both know hidden truths behind the disguises of white lies
Will ur love ever let me know  the depths of the oceans
Will I ever see the sunrise
Or will you forever bleed me dry
Sunset on these clear blue skies
Ur the one that I want ...

Uncut chant ~ idk what I be thinking .. Yes I do ! Lol

As my mind tries to Escape you
I enter into ur maze
Running around frantically
Caught in your gaze
Death stare
I turn and I run I turn and I run only to be met with ur eyes
I stumble backwards & in one quick swift I collapse into your arms
I push u and I run
free to the ground
I push and I run
If I let you .. U would be the death of me
Run faster
Dead ends
& just when I think it is all over
U devour me whole

Stay

Stay..
Because every part of you wants it ...

Baby steps

As I look at some of my older writings I still find it hard  to share .. Although that part of my life is history .. It still existed....

Not sure how long till I break & just share
One piece of the puzzle ...

Baby steps luv
Baby steps

Punishment Update

For those curious as to how my
Punishment against myself went... well you will be happy to hear that for the most part I stuck to my end of the bargain with  no "happy" distractions.. I did get what needed to be done, done a lot faster.

There has been no mood shift o'horror ...

And that concludes my story ..
As 1 of my tattoos states ..

Where there's a will there's a way!!!

Believe in all things , & that means believe in yourself too!!!

Namaste
& thank you for your time in this most enchanting space of mine <3 p="">





I know boring rant ..
But u know what ..

My shit got done !!! :))

Yay!!!

Uncut chant - perfect mother..

Written last night ..
October 15, 2013

I don't know what it means to be the perfect mother .. And the last thing I would hate to do is sit around & compare myself with other mothers.. Other single mothers.. & weigh myself in ... Cause if I did that shit the load will be a super over load & trust me, that is the last thing a child needs.. Or I need !

I know there are times where I reflect hard as to the way that I raise my daughter & the relationship we continue to build on & as any relationship there are strengths as well as weaknesses.

I get emotional writing this ... Because lord knows I truly Love my kid .. I've been blessed with such an amazing force of character & beauty in my daughter .. Ha ! Tough as she may be, she's my heart & soul.

As any 12 year old .. Well not all, because I've seen some pretty well behaved kids in my time, who seem to have embodied the perfect genetic code of "perfect child."

Hold on.. Momentary distraction making small talk with my neighbor.. Yea i do those things from time to time lol

He was telling me 1 of my friends was very attractive .. I said all of my friends are very attractive .. He tried describing her but the description fit any one of them ... So I wonder who he was referring to .. But anyway that is neither here nor there ..

Children .. Yes sweet little innocent devils .. Haha just kidding .. Or  am I ?? Cause I am a firm believer of all jokes being 1/2 truths..

I have my moments where i look at my daughter & all I want to do is choke her .. But she knows for the most part I have raised her without (too much hitting ) can't say I've never tugged or pulled at her hair or quickly popped her in the mouth ..  As I said I am not perfect .. Those moments very rare but they certainly have transpired .. Believe me it was truly deserved .. But still I never feel good about it .. & it always ends with an apology.. Because honestly there is no reason to ever lose self control , especially when it is concerning your children.

There are no excuses

They are children.

And it is you who has to show them the way .. And the only way is through love ...
And there is no violence in love ...

I never intended to be a single mother , fk I never intended on being a mother , shit I never intended on having a boyfriend .. lol the list could go on and on .. But unimportant .. Only thing that matters is that I am ...

I have been blessed with a wonderful family, who have been continuously a constant most loyal support system.. Not that this makes raising a kid on ur own any easier .. Because I've always been independent & as much as I love my family doesn't mean I want to live with all of them either ... So of course single parenting responsibly means that u bust ur a$$!

In this Arena as well I must be absolutely grateful for always being fortunate & blessed to go after everything i strived for head on .. And getting exactly what I desired ... For all those different moments & paths chosen with  all my varied adventurous career paths and jobs, i certainly learned a lot !! lol

They have all taught me many wonderful things that I carry with me each & every day :))

1 of my biggest struggles with being a single mom is discipline. She's my soft spot, so therefore she gets away with a lot more than she should. It's not that she's a bad kid cause she most certainly is not .. But I kind of encouraged freedom of speech and expression (& that turned out to be a double edge sword ) so while yes we may have wonderful & certainly precious open communication.. Believe me when I say this , that too comes with a price lol

Most of the time I just want to smack her ..

Lol so I laugh ..

She's lucky that I carry with me such high patience & complete understanding ... & I cherish my special gift of true friendship with my daughter, and now I'm just working on executing my authority to the fullest extent.. But of course with LOVE!!

So I shall sip on some happy juice till her happy attitude kicks in ... Lol

Astrologically, my daughter is my polar opposite ...

It's like Princess Diana meeting Negative Nancy ...

That would be an interesting conversation ...

Raising a kid who naturally carries with her a pessimistic attitude is tough .. You would think everything I've accomplished in front of her would be testimony enough that being positive & exuding a good energy can take you everywhere you desire to be .. & not that she's not positive it's just her perspective on the positive ... I mean I'm not trying to change her, I love who she is , she's fkn funny as hell, but I just want to open her world a little bit more & really look at it as if she were viewing it from the sky & moving every piece in her life   as pawn in a chess game.

Anyway ...

That's all for now ..

Just sharing some uncut chants/rants

Maybe these chants/rants  serve some purpose ...

Who knows ??

Thank you for ur precious time in reading this blog to its final last line ...

You are fkn awesome !!!!

peace out <3 p="">

Uncut rant ~ Punished !

Focused energy is the key for me today..
My mind has not been here .. It has been there ..
And although i still believe in there, I must focus on here...

Well at least for this moment ...

So, I must be punished ..

I know what my punishment is..
Will I share it ?? No!
It quite frankly is  none of ur business lol (I write this as polite as possible ) :D
Will I stick to it (for today only ) hmm...
Will let you know later ...

I am being intentional here guys ...
Sometimes it takes extreme focus ..
Dedication ..
Will Power ..
U know all the shit I talk about lol

What needs to be done today, I have procrastinated on for like 1-1/2 weeks ... For good reason yea yea but I know (because I know me ) this thing in which I've procrastinated on could of been done long long time ago ... & now because of what I sowed into existence I find my vibrational energy shifting into mood swing o'horror... So before that continues ..

I'm punished .

Even this blog .. The one I am writing at this very moment..
Yup, this too here Is another small procrastination too .. Lol
It's silly of me to believe  that i can honestly deceive myself into  not knowing y this uncut rant is really taking place lol

I always know what I am doing (I think )

But anyways ...
You see guys ..
Moral of this story is ..
I do practice what I preach ...

It's not perfectness we strive for ..

It's wholeness.. It's peace ... It's nourishment ..

Whatever those things mean for you ...

And sometimes it just takes self discipline to get there ...

We all procrastinate from time to time

On big things .. Small things ... GiNormous things ...

And all these things whether big or small (but somehow important in some way to us ) well these things are like all things .. In which there is an action & reaction...

There's choices & there's consequences for those choices .. Good / bad. / fair / unfair

And the ripple effect of our procrastinations, no matter how big or little in size ...
Well it infects us, therefore affecting us in the things we do or the way we feel ..... And sometimes what it may  appear so damn  inconspicuously that we lose sight of its original origin.... U know that it is "I" who created whatever that's now standing before me...

Just think about it ...

All those minor nuances in our lives.. Are they really that ????

Hmm... I wonder !!!

So just get whatever it is that you must do .. done !!!

Bigger picture !!

And fkn smile about it too ..
You are in control of that smile on your face & what makes it go cheeeesseeee!!! Lol

And if you can't get into that good spirit .. Well practice humming ... And keep freakin humming ..

Silence that sometimes filthy mind ...

Hum hum hum hum hummmmm.....

Anyways if you read all this shit .. Why thank you !! But I truly need to go now ... I'm punished for today .. Lol

That means not doing anything I might enjoy ...

Have an awesome fkn day ..

As I too will !!!

Namaste

Rambling

Feels like cold feet ...

With thoughts of going deeper ...

Uncut rant - train rides

I will share excerpts ...
Pieces ..
Fragments ..
Of everything believed to be true,
At least what was made real for me at those moments ...
History
Mystery
Intrigue
A maze that is all  revealing..
To whom?
Now that is the right question !!!

Truth

Now that I am in the light ..
It's time for me to share some of the dark...

Because it is between these 2 that I found myself <3 p="">

No reflection ~~ throwback poem - Written - 1/4/1997 - 15yrs old

I gaze in the mirror all I see is a face
a face that blends in with the rest of the world
I stare & try to focus
On who I really am
not just the face standing before me
I'm looking for my reflection
All I see is emptiness
Invisible to the world, but most of all to myself
I'm invisible..
I'm invisible...
Slowly dying
I'm lost & can't yet be found
Or is it I wish not to be sought ?
I'm invisible
But all I wish is to fly... Fly ?
The way to be found is to find thy true self..
True self ?
And as this occurs I will be set free...
Free?
But right now I see no reflection standing before me




Wow.. I listen to the 15 year old girl who wrote this .. And clearly see that I've been here all along ...

Fkn Sagittarius and their deep philosophical quest/zest for life ...

Add Pisces moon to the forefront & u got yourself also an Absolute Dreamer..

The Jenn above who once wrote this poem didn't know it yet.. But she's pretty frkn dopetastic.. And since her search began at such a young age... She found herself just in time <3 nbsp="" p="">
There are so many writings that I am building on eventually sharing, this sharing goes against my genetic makeup.. It will always be uncomfortable & unsettling, allowing others into my world & it definitely takes a lot for me to let go.. Little by little .. I am a very private person & I've never been one to blab.. I do lots of gabbing, but never any blabbing .. And that still applies .. But as far as my own creative process & journey with my stories, poems, songs, essays, etc etc etc .. Well that's a work in progress..

I can not thank u enough for taking this precious Moment of your time to enter into my world. I know how our days can go, and all the things that we must get done & how time consuming it can all be, and the fact that you shared some of Your own most valuable time well that makes me eternally grateful.

Wishing you a life filled with absolute Love, joy , peace & laughter .. For eternity & beyond !!!

THANK YOU

Namaste

Jenn in Wonderland

Uncut rant

All you do is tease
Send me to my knees
Holding ur command
Mind fkn me with ease
With every breath i take
& every move you make
I surrender

Free flow - uncut chant

Sitting here with pen in my hand
Dreaming of a far off distant land,
Realizing now that it has always been my dream...
Dreaming out loud, voices trumpet streams
Sending butterfly Whispers into the wind..
Breezing on by my sweet lullaby, enchantments of desire..
Love quenches me whole...
Tip toes onto my very own soul, happiness so bold & everlasting..
Feel the wind...
Relinquishing control..
heart skipping beats..
Capturing this very moment
Everything absolute & complete
Majestically entranced as I dance rhythmically  intertwined  inside euphonic bliss...
Sweet penetrating kiss, honey dew lips, enchanting & alluring
Love radiating a cascade of rainbows
Understanding what the Gods meant..
As Love comes undone

Uncut chant ~ Universal Laws

That's the beauty with universal laws.. When you see it in action, & at work, it's a marvelous painting. All colors intricately woven into existence...
Coincidences.. Pfff no such thing.. Lol
They are our own powerful guidance systems allowing us to hear, see, believe & feel, exactly what is manifesting into our very own existence...
 & based off of what it is that we think/perceive/believe or what we believe we are seeing/experiencing/living..
Well that  will always remain to be our own subjective experience, and everything we connect as our own... will Always be & remain to be REAL unto ourselves... (Therefore becoming the world that exist before us)

& whatever it is that we think we believe & feel... Well this will be the world that we will actually live in..

everything that we create to be real  for ourselves...

 These things will define our very existence. These things Make us everything we are... These things are what we call ReAlity...

Where do YOu live ?!?

These things Matter!!!

So pay close attention :))


Have Faith in everything you do..

EVERYTHING!!!

(Erase judgement .. Erase what is preconceived as good or bad ... What is your Dream.. What is your vision?? How do you feel?? What makes you happy ?? Everything that you do is it done with absolute Love? What is love ? Can ya feel it ???!? )

have Unwavering faith..

Faith that grows with each waking second  leaving you giddy with passion, JOY & true Happiness.. for everything you believe is what you shall receive ...

Paint pictures!!!
Weave into existence all the powers of your own creations..

Good ones

Intentional ones

peer into ur landscape from far off lands & tell me what is it that you see from this distance ???

Is it  your very own personal & beautiful Dream ?!!??

Believe!!!!

Love with all your might ...

& Always keep believing !!!

Believe in yourself & in your own will & power .. Will Power!!

will Power = Real Power

Clarity of mind, body & soul

Lose your senses & regain all control

Delve deep into what may seem like murky waters.. & be surprised with the cascade of beauty that stands before you ...

LoVe the LuSt building inside of u which creates the FaiTh u need to set sail on ALL of ur DrEaMs

the wonderful world of set intentions & divine purpose...

Divine ...
"of, from, or like God or a god."

Who's your God ?!?

namaste

bless ur heart, spirit & soul & thank you for taking some of your most precious time to engage with me in a blogger style fashion some of my own enchanting babble rants .. It is most appreciated, & please do know & take personal note that even in this fashion,  we met for a reason...

<3 p="">

Uncut jumble

Uncut rant .. Here it goes ..
Lord knows what I will say next ...
The words are jumbled in my mind.. Feeling like some sort of writers block .. Ha ! Great .. Inability to sleep & now write .. There are always books .. As well as dance ... But I think I've danced enough for the night ... It's amazing how I never grow tired of dancing or listening to music , because I absolutely LOVE IT !!!

Ok this is a whack rant ... So gotta go ...

& 1 note .. Whatever u believe in .. Believe in .. And keep believing .. Don't stop believing .. Believe .. Just believe !!!!

Namaste ;)

Interesting words spoken

I read an interesting interview on a very fascinating person.. Well I think he is ... And based off what I read, this is all I heard :))

Excerpts from things He said during this interview that I found to be the most interesting.. Interesting for so many many reasons... 1 of them being that it's as if I could of said these very things myself !!

There's no crazier fiction than reality!

That's why I've done everything I've done: because I've been compelled to do it!!!

I don't think you would want to do it unless it was a burning desire ..

If it's not a burning desire, you probably shouldn't be doing it.

… these reasons why we do the things we do. They're interesting questions.

I'll take you on a hike. You wanna go on my hike? I'll take you on a hike.

No complaining though, when we go up there.

I hope that it continues to change

Hmmm. I thought maybe you were a psychology major.

I can't wait to get you on that hill. I am going to take you on that hike.

TaDa.. That's it :))

And just like that the pages turn

namaste :))