Uncut rant ~ Punished !

Focused energy is the key for me today..
My mind has not been here .. It has been there ..
And although i still believe in there, I must focus on here...

Well at least for this moment ...

So, I must be punished ..

I know what my punishment is..
Will I share it ?? No!
It quite frankly is  none of ur business lol (I write this as polite as possible ) :D
Will I stick to it (for today only ) hmm...
Will let you know later ...

I am being intentional here guys ...
Sometimes it takes extreme focus ..
Dedication ..
Will Power ..
U know all the shit I talk about lol

What needs to be done today, I have procrastinated on for like 1-1/2 weeks ... For good reason yea yea but I know (because I know me ) this thing in which I've procrastinated on could of been done long long time ago ... & now because of what I sowed into existence I find my vibrational energy shifting into mood swing o'horror... So before that continues ..

I'm punished .

Even this blog .. The one I am writing at this very moment..
Yup, this too here Is another small procrastination too .. Lol
It's silly of me to believe  that i can honestly deceive myself into  not knowing y this uncut rant is really taking place lol

I always know what I am doing (I think )

But anyways ...
You see guys ..
Moral of this story is ..
I do practice what I preach ...

It's not perfectness we strive for ..

It's wholeness.. It's peace ... It's nourishment ..

Whatever those things mean for you ...

And sometimes it just takes self discipline to get there ...

We all procrastinate from time to time

On big things .. Small things ... GiNormous things ...

And all these things whether big or small (but somehow important in some way to us ) well these things are like all things .. In which there is an action & reaction...

There's choices & there's consequences for those choices .. Good / bad. / fair / unfair

And the ripple effect of our procrastinations, no matter how big or little in size ...
Well it infects us, therefore affecting us in the things we do or the way we feel ..... And sometimes what it may  appear so damn  inconspicuously that we lose sight of its original origin.... U know that it is "I" who created whatever that's now standing before me...

Just think about it ...

All those minor nuances in our lives.. Are they really that ????

Hmm... I wonder !!!

So just get whatever it is that you must do .. done !!!

Bigger picture !!

And fkn smile about it too ..
You are in control of that smile on your face & what makes it go cheeeesseeee!!! Lol

And if you can't get into that good spirit .. Well practice humming ... And keep freakin humming ..

Silence that sometimes filthy mind ...

Hum hum hum hum hummmmm.....

Anyways if you read all this shit .. Why thank you !! But I truly need to go now ... I'm punished for today .. Lol

That means not doing anything I might enjoy ...

Have an awesome fkn day ..

As I too will !!!

Namaste

Rambling

Feels like cold feet ...

With thoughts of going deeper ...

Uncut rant - train rides

I will share excerpts ...
Pieces ..
Fragments ..
Of everything believed to be true,
At least what was made real for me at those moments ...
History
Mystery
Intrigue
A maze that is all  revealing..
To whom?
Now that is the right question !!!

Truth

Now that I am in the light ..
It's time for me to share some of the dark...

Because it is between these 2 that I found myself <3 p="">

No reflection ~~ throwback poem - Written - 1/4/1997 - 15yrs old

I gaze in the mirror all I see is a face
a face that blends in with the rest of the world
I stare & try to focus
On who I really am
not just the face standing before me
I'm looking for my reflection
All I see is emptiness
Invisible to the world, but most of all to myself
I'm invisible..
I'm invisible...
Slowly dying
I'm lost & can't yet be found
Or is it I wish not to be sought ?
I'm invisible
But all I wish is to fly... Fly ?
The way to be found is to find thy true self..
True self ?
And as this occurs I will be set free...
Free?
But right now I see no reflection standing before me




Wow.. I listen to the 15 year old girl who wrote this .. And clearly see that I've been here all along ...

Fkn Sagittarius and their deep philosophical quest/zest for life ...

Add Pisces moon to the forefront & u got yourself also an Absolute Dreamer..

The Jenn above who once wrote this poem didn't know it yet.. But she's pretty frkn dopetastic.. And since her search began at such a young age... She found herself just in time <3 nbsp="" p="">
There are so many writings that I am building on eventually sharing, this sharing goes against my genetic makeup.. It will always be uncomfortable & unsettling, allowing others into my world & it definitely takes a lot for me to let go.. Little by little .. I am a very private person & I've never been one to blab.. I do lots of gabbing, but never any blabbing .. And that still applies .. But as far as my own creative process & journey with my stories, poems, songs, essays, etc etc etc .. Well that's a work in progress..

I can not thank u enough for taking this precious Moment of your time to enter into my world. I know how our days can go, and all the things that we must get done & how time consuming it can all be, and the fact that you shared some of Your own most valuable time well that makes me eternally grateful.

Wishing you a life filled with absolute Love, joy , peace & laughter .. For eternity & beyond !!!

THANK YOU

Namaste

Jenn in Wonderland

Uncut rant

All you do is tease
Send me to my knees
Holding ur command
Mind fkn me with ease
With every breath i take
& every move you make
I surrender

Free flow - uncut chant

Sitting here with pen in my hand
Dreaming of a far off distant land,
Realizing now that it has always been my dream...
Dreaming out loud, voices trumpet streams
Sending butterfly Whispers into the wind..
Breezing on by my sweet lullaby, enchantments of desire..
Love quenches me whole...
Tip toes onto my very own soul, happiness so bold & everlasting..
Feel the wind...
Relinquishing control..
heart skipping beats..
Capturing this very moment
Everything absolute & complete
Majestically entranced as I dance rhythmically  intertwined  inside euphonic bliss...
Sweet penetrating kiss, honey dew lips, enchanting & alluring
Love radiating a cascade of rainbows
Understanding what the Gods meant..
As Love comes undone