Awakening to Change : Tales from Thee Inner Depths

 

You know, we never truly understand how deep some traumas & behavioral patterns can be until we confront thee scary beasts lurking within our hives, obscuring truth from our eyes. It’s a timeless tale—the shadow aspects of ourselves are living hells, wells that need to be INNERSTOOD. Recently, I faced one of these evolutionary moments. While it’s fresh in my mind, I write these words down. I tend to be so hard on myself. Some may say I have perfectionistic tendencies; I will say I have self-sabotaging ways that have prevented me from doing my best, achieving my best & going after what I really want. I have let fear paralyze my growth, stumping me at times. But on my own evolutionary HEALING journey, thee more I dive deep & ALLOW myself to come out of hiding, thee more I meet aspects of myself that are crucial for me to truly get to KNOW, even when it’s so uncomfortable.

This week was psychologically challenging, to say thee least - maybe this entire year thus far! But this week, I felt hormonal & overwhelmed, yet a part of me, sick of my own shit, was determined to continue taking strides in accomplishing what I set out to do. Overly critical & harsh on myself, I ALLOWED this aspect of myself to come to thee table, to be seen & heard. Her wounds & self-judgments run so deep. Sometimes, it takes other people to MIRROR the parts of us we refuse to see or acknowledge. It’s like a punch to the gut—a slap in the face—a rude awakening. I can’t tell you thee number of times I have heard from my mentors and people closest to me that I need to STOP being so hard & judgmental on myself. It is so hard, I swear it is - sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing it - but the more I want it the better I get. It’s so hard, especially when you grow up in an environment where those meant to nurture you lacked thee compassion & encouragement to do so, setting you up to be your own worst inner critic. Without realizing it, I internalized these absences, adopting these harsh voices within myself, which prevented me from showing compassion & encouragement to my own spirit.

I have been slaying demons & monsters all of my life, and as of late, I’ve been conquering challenges I never believed myself capable of doing. I’ve been enjoying so many SILENT VICTORIES & sharing them with those whom reciprocate genuine love—because to me that matters. It’s crucial to surround yourself with people whom GENUINELY LOVE you in HEALTHY ways. So although my celebrations have been small, they have been the most meaningful celebrations of my current life. It FEELS GOOD to have this GENUINE love & SUPPORT surrounding me without any envy, jealousy, animosity, hate & side-eyes and gossip being spoken behind my back. Those are truly spiritual attacks, and that shit is whack.

But anyhoo, last night, as I traveled in my lucid sleep, I was awoken to this LEVEL UP in consciousness within me, a new yoke being cracked OPEN, and I just started to cry—not in a bad way, but in a release that I was unaware needed to be ACKNOWLEDGED, innerstood, realized, comforted, and set free. I didn’t even know it was going to happen. I fell asleep exhausted from my hard work ACCOMPLISHED, and then around 3-4 AM, I suddenly awoke to this profound ALCHEMY nourishing me, and I had to be awake to receive it. It may have started in my lucid dream realm, but it was so POWERFUL that it woke me up and I embraced this TRANSFORMATION. Transformations are healing experiences, long in thee making, requiring behavioral modifications that take time to settle into. It’s always a journey. There is no destination; it is always our journey to be on.

So I say to you whom reads this monologue of mine, sharing a personal encounter of enchanting resurrection and evolutionary transformation that is forever ongoing and definitely needed, remember: “The only real battle in life is between hanging on and letting go.” — Shannon L. Alder. There are things in this world that we must do in order to experience CHANGE, and it will be those very things that are thee most CHALLENGING for us to get done. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary to cross that burning bridge. Because in thee end, it’s ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and if you don’t live before thee ashes turn to dust, you will only wither away, fueling defeat, and that shit creeps up on you when you least expect it—even if you deny its existence. Please be vigilant and discerning about your settlements in life because often, those settlements are silent wars we have given up on. Never give up. Always stay true to your course and path. BELIEVE in yourself and BE KINDER and GENTLE to your being. It’s a cruel world, and you don’t need to add to that cruelty. If you think thee world is against you, you’ll always be fighting—but truly, you’ll be fighting yourself until thee bitter end.

The community of support you may feel you lack will come when you finally show up for yourself. It might not feel like much, but remember, QUALITY trumps quantity any day of thee week. Be brave. Stay authentic & true. Allow thee uncomfortable to take place so that your ALCHEMY can be HEALTHY. Your inner world shouldn’t be at war because then your outer world will be chaotic.

Last night, I cried and forgave thee  parts of me that were cruel yet still deserving of love. In this world, all we need is love, and that love will grow our own acceptance. “We cannot become what we want by remaining what we are.” – Max Depree. This quote, I LOVE & it embodies thee essence of transformation being shared within this message. It is a reminder that GROWTH requires CHANGE & CHANGE is not just inevitable but ESSENTIAL for survival.

Embrace your journey with open arms & an open heart. Cherish those silent victories, nurture your spirit with kindness, and continue to forge ahead, carving out a path that leads to a better, more ENLIGHTENED version of yourself. In thee end, the LOVE you cultivate within will radiate outward, ILLUMINATING your way & guiding others. This is the POWER of true transformation—rooted in love, driven by courage, and honored through perseverance. Keep pushing forward, not just for survival, but for thee profound JOY of thriving in a world that blooms with possibilities.

With Love ALWAYS,

Enchantress Thee Babbler 

@EnchantressTheeBabbler on YouTube 

@Enchantress Instagram 

@AlchemysticPoetess TikTok 

ENCHANTING BABBLE ON BLOGGER

WEBSITE: ENCHANTRESSTHEEBABBLER.COM