A Heart Shattered: In Memory of Baby

A  Heart Shattered: In Memory of Baby

Today marks one month since we tragically said goodbye to our dear dog, Baby. 🐾 In her loving memory, I've compiled a video capturing her pure, boundless cuteness.

But today, I want to share something deeply personal—my raw and emotional poem & diary entry written the day after her passing. The wound is still fresh, and the pain remains.

In the depths of loss I am in despair, my heart aches & moans,

As I spill my grief upon these tear-stained stones.

Yesterday, my world crumbled, my soul laid bare,

For I lost my beloved dog Baby, in a world so unfair.

I question the medical community's ways,

In the shadow of loss, my heart's heavy with dismay.

I lack the authority, they say, to speak my truth,

But I witnessed the injustice, I saw the bitter proof.

I entrusted them with my dog Baby's fragile life,

Suppressing my instincts, embracing the strife.

The doctor's decision, an increase in vain,

Hastened Baby's departure, inflicted endless pain.

In the depths of despair, my anger takes hold,

For they followed their protocols, their hearts soulless cold.

No one saw Baby's uniqueness, her struggle, her plea,

They let her slip away, they failed her, you see.

Her time was limited, that much I knew,

But a tragic ending, we didn't have to pursue.

My anger, they claim, is vengeance untamed,

But I speak my raw truth, my grief unchained.

I question the system, its cold, callous ways,

Why standard procedures, where empathy decays?

Our pets, our dear animals, in our hearts they reside,

Yet, their value diminished, their lives set aside.

The wisdom they boasted, it crumbled, it fell,

My intuition knew better, a truth I can't quell.

If I could rewind time, I'd refuse that cruel fate,

Baby would still be here, it's not too late.

In this moment, gratitude is far from my grasp,

For they led us astray, in this painful clasp.

I can't undo that moment, or the money they stole,

For a medical overdose that took Baby's soul.

As I write these lines, every soul, please heed,

Question the experts, don't just blindly concede.

If "Karen" I must be, to protect those we love,

Then let it be so, for Baby, now above.

In the depths of despair, I declare it's not right,

That a flawed system stole Baby from sight.

That ill-fated dose, prescribed in despair,

Took away our dog Baby, left me in anguish and despair.

This, a poem in my diary, is undeniably cruel and tough,

A loss that's left me broken, it's simply not enough.

**Let's honor Baby's memory by raising awareness about the value of our animal companions and the importance of questioning when something doesn't feel right. 💔🐾 #InLovingMemory #JusticeForAnimals #RawEmotions**

Diary entry Written 9/8/2023 

Trigger warning ⚠️ it’s raw unfiltered emotion.

Written 9/8/2023 

My heart is shattered, and my tears flow uncontrollably as I pour out my pain onto these pages. Yesterday, I experienced the devastating loss of my beloved dog, Baby. The weight of this tragedy has made me question the policies and procedures of the medical community, for I believe that this heartbreaking outcome could have been avoided. My emotions run deep, and I yearn to express the soulful turmoil that consumes me.

It is incredibly frustrating to share my experience with others, only to be met with closed minds and dismissive attitudes. Is it because it is I who speaks these words? I am not a veterinarian, and therefore, some may argue that I lack the authority to voice my concerns. But I have eyes that witness, and I saw the events unfold from one day to the next. Does no one else see the injustice in this? Who should be held accountable for the loss of  Baby our dog?

I placed my trust in the hands of doctors, suppressing my own intuition, and now, I am left to mourn an even swifter departure. The doctor herself confirmed that the increase in dosage hastened Baby's passing. Can we accept this as justifiable? Is there no one to speak up for our voiceless animals? I watched helplessly as Baby, who had shown signs of improvement in her critical condition, suddenly cried out in pain, unable to communicate the torment brewing within her. They failed her. They failed to recognize her unique case, opting instead to follow a standardized procedure. And because of their negligence, she is no longer here. How can this be fair?

I was aware that Baby's time with us was limited, but it did not have to end in such a tragic manner, especially when she had shown signs of improvement. Am I wrong to feel this overwhelming anger? Who is to blame for this heart-wrenching loss? as I pour my emotions onto these pages, I am accused of speaking with vengeance. But how can I be vengeful when all I am doing is expressing my honest and raw emotions? I am merely recounting the events as they unfolded, culminating in the moment when Baby took that final, fatal dose of medication, an increase that was prompted by my need for a refill. How dare someone try to cover their own ass and lack compassion. Because after that dose It was then that she spiraled out of control and met her tragic end. WTF ? How can I accept this as okay? I am far from okay. Yes, my emotions are heightened, but can anyone truly justify this as right?

I do not believe that this is right. I am left questioning why the medical industry is so quick to increase medication dosages without considering each case individually. Why is it acceptable to follow standard procedures and blindly approve dosage increments simply because "that's how it's done"? Well, because of this flawed thinking, my dog, Baby, perished in the most agonizing manner. I yearn to raise awareness about this injustice so that other families do not have to endure such a tragic loss. Our pets and animals hold profound significance in our lives, and if they are not valued, then why do we choose to have them in our homes and hearts?

The system, in all its supposed wisdom, failed our dear Baby, and I am plagued by guilt. My intuition pleaded with me to question the doctors and staff about the dosage increase, but I succumbed to their supposed expertise. Who am I to challenge their knowledge and experience? Yet, deep down, my intuition knew the truth. If I could turn back time, I would have vehemently refused that dosage increase and insisted on a refill of the previously prescribed medication. Yes, Baby was still on a path towards her inevitable passing, but I promise you, she would still be alive today. This I know with every fiber of my being, just as I intuitively knew that the increased dosage was wrong. But alas, I trusted the professionals, and it cost us our beloved dog Baby.

In this moment, I cannot find gratitude for their assistance, for they were the catalyst for Baby's rapid decline. I cannot undo that irrevocable moment or reclaim the money that was taken from me for a medical overdose that robbed us of our precious companion from us trusting their professional opinion.

As i write these words  they ignite a fire within me, raising my consciousness & awareness and prompting me to question more, to not blindly accept everything i hear just because someone is deemed qualified. If this makes me a "Karen," so be it. If only I could turn back time, I would have withheld those medications. Perhaps Baby's fate was sealed, but I promise you, she would still be by my side today. This I wholeheartedly know. I knew it then, as I know it now. That ill-fated dose, prescribed without due consideration, took away our sweet dog Baby, leaving me shattered and filled with anguish. This is not okay. It is undeniably fucked up.