so much
I knew there were going to be things that YOU
were going to be able to SHOW me
based on your inner levels
of Not Consciously knowing
of the seeds you be sowing
Have courage faint heart is what I heard
spirit say
but what does Spirit know anyway?
what is spirit some may say...
how did I know of our happenings
before their happenings
accepting the sealed fate
I was to learn
grow
unravel
parts of my unconscious
the parts of my own abuse
the parts of me living in the shadowy world disowned
I had to SEE
thru you
to further HEAL myself
thru the
things long buried
hidden from my most superficial layer of consciousness
I knew I was going back to school
and traveling back in time
it has always been
curiosity
to be some esteem driver in me
that goes full speed ahead
without thinking
yet thinking
and ever knowing
but so filled with stupid
if stupid could be this tangible goop of a thing
it would be made up of many strings
I say, burn these things
but yes...
resurfacing for me
were many of things
unhealed within me
or not so much not healed
but never did I fully go thru
many of the things
this relationship cooked up
brought up
brought into conscious awareness
the things left in me that needed for me to
complete
and Graduate from
but still FOOL is I
all of thee time
oblivious was I
to the NATURAL disORDER
of the other party and their
True Blue Narcissistic Victim Tragedy
reality
that they never had any intention of ridding themselves of
here I am
foolish once again
believing our engage
was for their own elevate as well
but maybe these karmic patterns differ and do tell different stories although shared with one another in this earth space of a place that is hard to erase
feels like a race
against this imagery of my own mind
Thinking that others are clothed like I
no
no no
not in this lifetime
although there are many beacons of light
Life
contributing to these times
but still so many missing components
that is not meant to be made seen
by ones own perception of
experiencing of this level of reality
I have kicked myself off my own high horse
and yet NOW I have managed to climb right back on
sitting cosmically tall
on my Rider
Black Beauty
clearly this man was a racist
for he carried the emblem
of his mighty flag everywhere with him
and still ran away from home
I ran away from home a time or two
or three or four
I know this door
and what it smells like
feels like
I know what it be tasting like too for I am
COOK too here on these lands
poetry is my metaphoric stance
on these lands
for they claim me to be adorable
rhetorical
and ignorable
for my submission lies in that energy field
of a subconscious so real
of a conditioning
thru my growing pains
of being raised a certain kind of way
that FORCED me into
OBEDIENCE
because sometimes it was NOT worth the fight
and that truth penetrating my temples
realizing stuck
was this situation
and I'd rather have them THINK they won
with their arrogance
with their pride
with their ignorant chatter
about What really matters
only ACTING out their own
FAMILY Matters
most people are not the same person behind closed doors
I KNOW this for sure
I knew there was HEALING I was to experience
and during the course of our time spent
seeds of quantum proportions are airborne now
in the air we breathe
these seeds
even the closing of this chapter
for my own Happily ever After
I keep all reflectors on
neon lighting preferably so that I may dance
into every I am
this was some serious pruning and priming
and shining
for I did catch on to what was occurring inner dynamically early
BEFORE the stages ever took place
the Oblivious carefree one in me
the gullible breed
child like seed
was sent back on out
this time with no leash
to SEE
the components within me that make up this
flesh eating virus
that plagues
my
mind
body
heart
and soul
Where do the monsters that come out in the dark disappear to you when you live with every Faery light on - - do they disintegrate into the walls?
any NEGATIVE seed one attempts to break
or no longer associate with
must inner stand
that ONE may TURN on EVERY LIGHT
and ACT the part needed to ACHIEVE The POSITIVE side of things one desires for oneself
what happened to their negative over time?
DOES it just no longer exist?
What is the origin of Humans being AFRAID of darkness?
Like when did it become the norm to be afraid of the dark at night and for children to sleep with night lights on ? If parents say to their child - "do not be ridiculous - there are no monsters in here. It is all in your imagination."How does that resolve the the lack of knowledge and understanding your child does not have at this time about the unwarranted FEAR being FELT and experienced - Like DOES anyone in any household KNOW why he/she may be feeling so afraid? was something seen? heard? shown? felt? does anyone ever explore? Do parents even ask ?
I went off a little bit there
but it is so on
like super on
this is freestyle writing moments
that I just type away
allowing my fingers to just lead the way and not give much thought to the phenomenal process actually taking place as write all of this down
When I was younger and a teacher asked me where did all of my writings come from - my poems , songs, short stories, essays etc etc - like what is my process? I remember being asked this all of the time - and my answer although in essence still the same - my own inner stand of comprehend is expansive in every way...
prior to writing on computers
I was a pen and paper kinda gal
and still one to this very day
I Love me some paper and pens
writing is part of my source and passionate everlasting friend
There was one teacher
I loved
Mrs.Dick
I remember when she asked me this
she really
really wanted to know
and I remember being so intrigued and feeling honored
that she was so interested in me
she would ask me so many things
about my creative ways
and I never acknowledged them in that kind of way
but when it came to writing
this particular conversation I can recall
in my mind
I explained to her simply - I never know what I am going to write I just pick up my pen and I do and when I am done I read back too
I have so many moments to my self
where I have written something
that I have silently in complete amazement
could not believe that I wrote that lol
and even as a child
I had a profound understanding of that writers well existing within me
this connection that I was conscious of since BEfoRE being able to legibly write
even when I did not know my abc's
1-2-3's
writing has always been this thing with me
TRAVELER is me
CREATOR
WORLD
WORD
I still do not like being interrupted while in this flow
nasty clap backs are all I knowdisappear with your noise
when I am
feverishly writing
I am working
on my non
angry
irritable
response
still yet to be perfected
nor will it ever be
cause consideration should be something you fudgin
just exude and are
by far
but that is something you either are
or aren't
check your currents
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