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Friday, November 3, 2017

Year 26 - Since You’ve Been Gone

Today makes year 26
without your 
physical 
on these lands 
life so sad 
so many years have passed
and that dreaded night remains the same 
I dreamt that night with you
before the set pain - there was rain 
You told me you were going away
You told me you were going away 
I held you tightly in my arms 
Saying 
NO - this is wrong ..
life without you 
it is wrong 
this can not be right 
suddenly Awoken from deep sleep 
I heard my father in the distance weep 
I called him over 
he beckoned me back to sleep 
I refused 
he couldn’t speak ..
I commanded with such fire in my soul
that if it had anything to do with 
MY MOTHER 
that I  MUST be told
feeling bold 
I watched my dad fall to his knees
Again I repeat, it was very difficult for him to speak 
as he continued to speak 
his voice so low 
My dad, he was weak 
and it was then he explained
that my 
Mother
My Angel
My Protector 
she is gone NOW
does this mean forever?
leaving my sister and me behind
having to find my own align
 within this very cruel world
I was just a girl 
I was just a girl 
I was just a girl 
with daddy's curls - desiring her mommas design 
here began the end of all my days
sad parade
 pain that not anyone could ever take away
numb began that day 
And at that moment I could no longer hear
any other sound 
Muffling noises out
everything so damn loud 
and so I raced back to that place 
where I saw you last
inside of my 
Wonderland
most sacred space
Designed with GRACE
holding you within this wounded space
that I simply could not erase
I have never tasted so many tears in all my years
forever holding you near
holding our meeting place
entering this space
I CAN still see Your face
hear your voice 
FEEL YOU 
With our profound soul connecting tie that forms this sacred royal Align - 
Mom - I Can Still FEEL YOU 
I can HEAR you 

Year 26 

You were only 26


2626
 inside this heart of mine 
I built you this Golden SHRINE
in here exists no such thing as time 
truth beats ferociously within my mind
connecting our divine
Channeling sublime  
With you I had so much time
I Am
ALIVE 
because of you 
and with gratitude 
I HONOR you 
saluting you 
I LoVE You 
❤️




These tears are no longer the same 
for they were never in vain 
never-ending pain 
IT DOES GO AWAY
I write this today
assuring ALL that there is HEALING 
within our FEELING when we CHOOSE to 
DEAL with them
and it is with FAITH, TRUST and CONVICTION that these tears that now fall 
steady 
and powerfully strong 
GIFTING myself the ability to EXPRESS this pain in my chest that once upon a time would never go away- these tears are definitely not the same 
this here is LIBERATING gain 
to be able to say
to speak in such a way
of this woman / My GODDESS - whom meant the world to me - and still does - and I am FREE from the misery the sadness that I once believed would never go away - just something I had to live with forever - the hole once there - I can tell you  no longer exists - yet I still FEEL as strongly as I ever have about the love that CONTINUES to exist and GROW for my mother  -  i fkn love her 


Year 26 - 
our healing never ends my friends 
our healing is our expansion 
our expansion comes from our healing 
evolving 
growing 
loving 



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