Fabulous Friday TrainRide Mix tape produced on a Tuesday

On barely a wink of sleep I sit here enthusiastically .. Well although on the exterior I may appear calm ... Inside .. well I'm filled with FAITH & JOY .. Really ..

& I am aware of the part of me .. who is feeling exhausted lol that sleepy head is a one percenter in this soul Eco now most friendly inner system of mine lol 

One night of not enough sleep shouldn't disturb anybody ...

5 nights..well that's a different story ..

& truthfully we are not talking 5 nights here ..

I have actually had a decent amount of restful sleep this week ...

I'm actually impressed...

makes me feel almost balanced lol 

I'm so happy to be in the mood to be in the flow of writing...

I remember that period where the passion burned out & the desire to write only brought up a painful event that created this entire period in my life to begin with ... When "someone" most stupidely threw away every one of my most personal writings that I had accumulated up until that point in my life. I had over 30 diaries .. Diaries from the 4th and 5th grade ...

 Entries from the 9 year old Jennifer who was devastated from losing her mother. Document by document ..

case by case life happenings and all of my feelings about it all. 

Because of someone's thoughtless most careless actions towards my most cherished priceless belongings .. It was. Good few years that passed before I got back got back into the entire writing flow once again .. Not that I didn't write during that lack of desire to write time period in my life ...

cause you can never stop a writer from writing .. It's only natural .. it just wasn't the same.. And still that style of writing/documentation I have yet to get back into the flow of doing on a daily basis...

Not only were diaries thrown away over 30 I might add .. I also had over 20 and this is no exaggeration.. Over 20 dream journals .. Something that was strongly advised for me to start doing as a really small child. I use to have these intense dreams .. So much so that I would wake up and WAKE everybody else up too ..

I had to tell somebody ..

Lol 

So there were many nights that my dad use to always remind me to sleep with a pen and paper near my pillow ... A di began this too probably Around 3rd grade ... Sometimes I would wake up feel

 My dreams and instinctively know where my pen / paper / book was and already opened to a fresh page .. In the dark .. Many times half asleep and 

Drunk  looking (most definitely so had anyone else been there aside from my sleeping in 3rd world wonderland little sister ... Who for most our childhood years .. Never slept in her own bed.. We always slept together ..  So much so that when we got rid of the bunk beds .. Our next bed was like a full size bed .. Remember .. She & I are most tiny now .. and we are earthly full grown lol .. So at that time as small children .. A full size bed was like a king size bed for us .. & never did either of us complain about sleeping uncomfortably ..

Anyhoo ..

childhood memories lol 

So.. Due to my dads most genius suggestion ... this lovely habit was instilled in me from most young & there wasn't a day that went by over all those years (up until the loss of these most omg how I cried over losing these priceless can never get them back memorabilia ... ) I had so many most sloppy and many times I couldn't even understand what I wrote .. But I learned key words were essential for me especially for when I went back in later when I was much more awake .. And sat down to fill in the most major details or these most vivid many of those dreams I had would later fruition into existence sometimes most instantly ..

the journey of my most sad but as eye understand it to be now .. 

Awakened life ..

I have always been introverted and dramatical in many ways ...

Always feeling as if what was written was on some stage or play ..

expressing these sentiments too ..

Boy did I ask a lot of questions in my entries and sharing in their revelations whenever they came into conscious awareness for me. I would love to be able to read thru these personal writings of mine.  

My dad only suggested it .. because till this day he still swears I will receive the lotto numbers for him in one of my dreams ... hey this man has a dream ..

Who am I not to believe in what he truly believes .. 

so I let him be with his beliefs & carry along with my ways lol 

And not only were my writings thrown away .. also all of my pictures. I was the only one (cause I took from my dad ~ who had all the (not so many) pictures of my mother. We didn't have many & now we have even less that's why when people randomly send me pics I have yet to see or do not have for myself of my mom ...  I always get super happy to have been gifted such a treasure ...

So yes .. 

I have had such a roller coaster ride with my own writing ..

oh and let's not forget my poetry books lol 

My neuroticMeSs had some

Order to Her own madness ..

Every written thing by me whether it was journal entry / poem / song / dream ..

Had to have the date as well as the time 

I always wrote my age..

For many journal entries I shared my mood ~ feelings / thinking about ..

you know silly writer thing to do ..

I swore one day compiled it would be my memoir lmao 

I do not mean to put a damper on this Friday most fabulous day mood ..

No way dudes / dudetts 

Dude 

dud 

stick in be Mud?

is that it's true origin of wordy creation ...

Lol 

Well this was a fun train ride enchant ..

I actually shared of this lifetime story of mine ..

Thank you for stopping by & don't believe you to be a dud ..

Eye think you're Awesome 

Namaste 

this is a P.S enchanting babble extension since I am still underground inside of these subway stations ..

they say .. 

when you see something, say something. 

Well I see a lot extra heavy police out and about looking and yet not looking .. Even some paired in teams ... 

I know Penn Station is totalitarian stylized ... With army people all over the place as well as police and the occasional police dog or two ..

but today ...

Something is up and they are not saying nothing / anything at all ..

Hmm..

something is most definitely uppity Up 

..

nothing irks me more than secrets and being kept in the dark about stuff especially if it could affect / infect / your life in any way ..

I mean ..

we are all entitled to our privacy and "secrets" sheesh for shiZzles ..

but if your secret can in any way create a disturbance in anothers world .. Then it is your business to make it your business to inform them ...

it's sort of like cheating ..

not that any man can get away with cheating on me .. 

Eye promise I will know the moment that once upon a time man of mine decided to be daring &

I will not keep it to myself. He would know the moment I see him again & Yes I forgive .. But my ego with this matter is rather intolerable & also the neurotic germaphobe in me is so extremely disgusted & wouldn't even allow for my body to accept and receive intimately in anyway this "once upon a time man" that once was & now no longer. Lol 

But that wasn't about this & my cheat on me & I would cut you Puerto Rican Tactics .. lol 

Cut you & then set you free lol 

I'll enthusiastically encourage you to hurry along to wherever this "once upon a time man" came from ...

plus that shit is so Highschool and college ..

keep it real ..

people need to stop wasting people's time with that pretending to be genuine and true but secretly doing other things that you're not being honest with your lover about .. I come to realize so many people hop from one relationship to the next .. never gifting oneself the opportunity to be fulfilling to oneself without any external party providing TLC to you ... 

A "once upon a time" someone I use to know .. Is a prime example of having never been in the time span I have known him/her by themselves. Beginning their new relationships without having had ended the one they were presently in ... so literally ... Most of their life experience has been spent in some form of intimate relationship with another ..

many people on this earth live their lives like this .. always searching for deeper level of intimacies .. 

Wow long train ride chant..

I have covered a multitude of topics this Fabulous Friday Morning on my way to BrOokLyN To be my charming Angelic  self Like Always ..

my stomach is growling and yet I'm really not hungry. 

Well it's not growling it just growled. 

Anyhoo..

I got things to do ..

Productive eye be ..

so cOoL..

Smile ..

Rise & Shine 

Bright Lights 

THis was written obviously on a Friday - but to be specific March 11, 2016