H o P e ~ written january 11, 2012 10:12 PM

Although I know better than to rely on another for my own happiness. For that would lead to ultimate failure and disappointment but I just mean u know that human love yearning that we all crave in some compacity. Even as I lay here I am bombarded with all the possibilities of things that could go wrong in my head. Trusting completely I see that is something I just can't do. I feel like allowing myself to be trusting and have this underlying faith in another - I feel as if eventually it would all just blow up in my face. So a part of me just lingers on in hope that maybe this feeling of negativity which has swept up underneath my surface would just eventually be made to be obsolete. The One Made for me ... Usually with others so many things do not add up and it's not always by action it's by my gut feeling ... The voice screaming inside myself saying stop .. Nope not him... You will know ... Will i know ... Do i know ... or is it i am plain madd and utterly crazy ... Do i trust and believe that he exists for me and there is such a thing as happy.